Kids: Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment... - FML

By flustered - 06/05/2012 14:57 - United States - Rapid City

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 4 785

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Same thing different taste

By tortureromoretorture - 27/08/2015 00:28 - United States - West Islip

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 296

You deserved it 1 689

By ENDmySUFFERING - 21/07/2016 15:25 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I walked into my son's room to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 255

You deserved it 1 293

Lightbulb moment

By Kevin - 17/10/2024 16:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 145

By get a grip, son - 30/05/2014 20:37 - United States - Pooler

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 173

You deserved it 10 880

Wasps, what the **** do they want?

By Owie - 23/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 221

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 553

You deserved it 29 261

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 912

You deserved it 39 602

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 100

You deserved it 46 458

By failure461 - 13/06/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 569

You deserved it 41 938

Stop! Hammertime!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 00:00

Today, my husband picked up and threw a hammer which smashed a hole in the plastic side of the conservatory, that daylight and rain can now get through, all because he “thought” he saw a mouse, which turned out to be one of my fluffy slippers half hidden under a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 151

Next

Top comments

Idonebeenhad 17

Monday 7 May 2012 0:57

Your son is an idiot.

nadnerbz 6

Monday 7 May 2012 0:57

If he had actually managed to kill it I would be impressed. I can barely get those things with a fly swatter

Comments

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Tuesday 8 May 2012 17:10

Stop! Hammer time! *throws hammers everywhere*

lightwater2520 7

Tuesday 8 May 2012 21:50

Reminds me of the movie Mouse Hunt.

Guitar360 4

Wednesday 9 May 2012 3:10

I get the feeling your son is not going to go far in life...

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 9 May 2012 19:56

Why on earth didn't you put the hammer in a place your son would be unlikely to get it? And why didn't someone stop this kid the first time he hit the wall with the hammer?

deadeyedex 6

Thursday 10 May 2012 6:48

Only in America ( I live in Ca)

avk369 1

Saturday 12 May 2012 17:04

But the important thing is....did he get it??

chinchaaa 4

Thursday 17 May 2012 15:57

How in the world could he get his hands on a hammer?!

RedCrow 0

Sunday 20 May 2012 20:32

*queue billy mays voice* "Hi Billy nays here with the all new Ding King! Have dents? No problem! Just stick the ding king in and you're good!"

iHateThisNThat 6

Monday 18 June 2012 5:19

Hope he got the fly!

gr3enw1lly17 5

Sunday 15 July 2012 8:52

way to raise a intelligent member if society

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The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

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You deserved it 1 029

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 297

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 149

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 009

You deserved it 11 920

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 5 053

Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 145

You deserved it 254

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!" He then started singing the Super Mario Brothers theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 843

You deserved it 5 880