Pregnancy and Kids: Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 21:57 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 142

You deserved it 7 777

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Same thing different taste

By Erica - 09/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 527

You deserved it 698

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 05:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 081

You deserved it 12 236

Three is a magic number

By Jenny - 05/04/2020 23:00

Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 498

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 878

You deserved it 17 014

By younggrammy - 20/08/2009 20:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 230

You deserved it 45 498

Great plan, kiddo

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 16:00

Spicy

Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 382

The state of sex ed…

By UnhappyGrandmama - 22/09/2022 23:00

Spicy

Today, my 17 year-old daughter texted me, “Mom I’m pregnat” Yes, exactly how you see it spelled. She’s a senior in high school. Oh, and she doesn’t know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 430

By SadMother - 04/10/2014 19:52 - United States - South Windsor

Spicy

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 897

You deserved it 11 952

Sex ed

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 05:01

Today, despite warning her multiple times, my daughter has gone and got herself pregnant by an idiot who has never held a job for more than 3 months, and once confidently told me the moon landing was a conspiracy. And yes, he scarpered the second he found out she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 04/05/2016 14:15 - United Kingdom - Saint Austell

Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 774

You deserved it 2 879

Next

Top comments

meirginsburg18 10

Wednesday 18 December 2013 0:18

looks like Jesus 2

L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20

Wednesday 18 December 2013 0:22

Oops daughter

Comments

SandpitNinja 10

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:10

YDI for raising a moron.

jsp16 24

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:12

So a couple weeks ago a woman claimed that a priest said her daughter was the anti-Christ. Now today a girl's pregnant but claims she's a virgin. The final battle of good vs evil... Was discovered on FML ?

This_FML_Girl 12

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:17

rephrase the question to: who thinks she's ******?

Chris93Jones 20

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:25

Hamlet 2 comes to mind. "rock me rock me, Rock Me sexy Jesus

caitiebug1119 15

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:25

Teenage logic: I'm still a virgin since it wasn't that good. The first time doesn't count.

Blavock 12

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:25

Your daughter is a ******* retardation

NicoleSpazz 8

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:34

... huh?

underthesea12 24

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:50

Why not? it happened once why not again?

SkipBeatOtaku 33

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:54

It is possible to get pregnant without having full-on intercourse. If there's semen on his/her hand (finger) and it goes into her ******, there's a chance she can get knocked up.

blackwidow6966 4

Wednesday 18 December 2013 5:59

maybe she thinks denying the whole thing is easier to explain than she doesnt know who the father is

howdoilogin 9

Wednesday 18 December 2013 6:04

I don't see what's so impressive, my cousin took 8 girl's virginities and he told me none of their kids are his, so this must happen all the time.

LanaRenee13 6

Wednesday 18 December 2013 11:16

....what?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 871

You deserved it 2 981

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 6 211

Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 126

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 2 036

Today, I'm sitting in a disgustingly hot office with all the windows thrown open. There is no fan, and the owner won't let us use the air conditioner. The smell of mold permeates the room from the ceiling, giving me headaches by the end of the day. The owner refuses to get someone in to clean it. I can't quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 148

Today, my car’s at the mechanic's so I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up from class, since it ends at 9pm and I was scared to walk home at night. She told me, “Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about, you’re too fat to get raped, plus you need the exercise.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 194