Kids: Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to...

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 061

You deserved it 4 745

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

The people of TikTok must be stopped

By Phil The Man - 04/09/2023 05:00

Today, I was sitting on the couch watching TV when I felt something crack on my head. My 6 year-old son had just smashed an egg into my hair. When I asked why, he said, "Mom does it for TikTok." This is how I found out that my wife has been "pranking" him for likes, and thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 119

You deserved it 4 835

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 141

You deserved it 6 496

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 23:19 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 251

You deserved it 5 811

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 703

You deserved it 5 586

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 10:00

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 1 722

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 2 394

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 494

Home improvement

By ... - 27/07/2014 05:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 311

You deserved it 5 391

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 128

saksxalmo 20

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:09

World's youngest troll?

willbur73q 7

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:11

I have to say, I do love a good prank. Cruel, yes. Well done, for sure.

Comments

PenguinBitch 43

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:51

They did the prank on you because they saw me smoke weed. #PrankForPenguin

McAninch35 9

Wednesday 16 January 2013 18:15

wut

tazrek01 6

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:54

You're an idiot!

crazytwinsmom 25

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:13

Are you talking to OP or penguin?

SoultheWolf 19

Tuesday 15 January 2013 19:56

I really hope you punish them both...

10showgirl 16

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:08

This means war. Time to play dirty.

thestoryofmylyf 20

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:24

Hahaha, bad prank ,but good

ronski 41

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:27

Well done to your daughter on a great performance, thankfully mine didn't do that. Time for her to exit stage left

KaiCer0 8

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:29

Best dramatic scene goes to...*insert drumroll* your daughter!

Reaper1984 13

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:34

And the Oscar goes to....

MalzxTheTerrible 4

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:43

That's awesome! I'd be proud of my troll children, and then plot my revenge.

Satoaoi 13

Tuesday 15 January 2013 20:55

classic ketchup bit lol

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

The Top

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 870

You deserved it 57 056

Today, I found out that my mother doesn't have Alzheimer's disease. This would be joyous news, except for the fact that one year prior to this day my grandmother lied to me so that I'd stay closer to home. I've been worrying over a nonexistent illness for an entire year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 84

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 5 318

Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 126

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 831

You deserved it 6 148

Today, I spent my entire day off making a brisket. It had been cooking for 8 hours when, just before dinner, I went for a quick jog. In that time my girlfriend came home and ruined it by trying to make it the way she wanted. I'm a chef and she's an office worker. We couldn't eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 651

You deserved it 385

Same thing different taste

The people of TikTok must be stopped

Home improvement

Daddy's in the shit again

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