By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 11:45 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my wannabe psychologist of a brother accused me of lying about all the violence and emotional abuse my ex inflicted on me, all because I went into "too much detail" when describing it, which he says is something only liars do. Thanks for the support. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 617
You deserved it 1 639
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Top comments

chrisbeaudoin 26

I think your brother should maybe the one to see a psychologist

207 3
RebeccaRFT 18

Your brother probably doesn't want to believe it even happened. It's easier to call someone a liar than to accept the painful truth.

189 9

Comments

khrystwiztidkid 15

Been there too. Its difficult enough to tell someone, must less have them call you a liar. Keep your chin up, opinions don't change the truth.

10 1
idk_rose 25

Why the **** would anyone say OP deserved this? It's hard enough for OP to have admit that to her family. Some people are dickheads.

11 1
theplaguedkitten 5

you shouldnt answer your question so fast... didnt even give anyone a chance :o

1 3
fsomelife 26

Hopefully it's just denial from pain he's feeling for you, sometimes that happens. Maybe he'll come around. If you need someone to listen, feel free to PM. Best of luck in getting yourself and your life back to normal! Good times are ahead :)

5 2
Dicebar 10

I'd like to second this. Denial is one of the classical stages of grief. Facing the question: "how did I not notice?" is not an easy one to face.

1 3
billboob 21

What an absolute dick. He should not be allowed to practice ( or is it practise ) if he doubts someone straight off, especially a sibling, somebody who he should have a strong emotional bond with in the first place and instantly sympathise with. My father was a psychologist before his retirement and he always mediated family arguments, but I don't think he consciously used his skills as a psychologist in personal affairs. Tell him he should go back to school.

8 5
stingray112 24

How would school help him in any way in that situation

1 3
billboob 21

As in to study the application and use of psychology. My bad. Not very good at explaining.

3 1
Vanderdale 14

He's a 'wannabe psychologist'. So he likely has nothing to do with psychology, perhaps he just read a few books and now considers himself an expert.

5 0
Witchylady 17

Your brother is a dick. He sure is going to suck as a therapist.

1 2
itsme82 18

Oh honey.. I know the pain. The best thing you can do for yourself is kick him out of your life. Seriously, you don't need that kind of negativity. I've been much happier since I did the same with my mom. Just food for thought. Again I'm sorry.

3 2
worldclassrager 39

Perhaps a real psychologist would be better

4 0
sallen14 8

He probably just can't believe or accept it. You are his sister after all.

0 3
writerchic85 25

Just remember that is why he is a wannabe psychiatrist and not an actual psychiatrist. If he's in school for it, he will either learn better or fail. If he's not in school for it, he will never become anything more than a wannabe and any advice or criticism he gives is just as invalid as anyone else's. Go to a real psychiatrist and don't worry about your ass butt of a brother.

9 1
ayyy_bro 26

It's actually quite the opposite. Liars are very vague and leave room for assumptions and fiddle with their hands/legs/face, while people who are telling the truth go into greater detail and sustain eye contact. He needs to study up a bit more.

2 6
gilligan_isle 6

There's actually a lot of people that have been abused or assaulted that aren't detailed when talking about it, and there's plenty more that aren't even talked about. I think it depends on the person honestly

8 0
9a_1z 12

Yeahh... you can't really divide up people's behaviour into 'lying' and 'not lying' like that. The whole problem with people who have been abused or assaulted is that they often don't react the way people expect them to. Lots of people suffer unfair treatment because they simply don't fit the mould of the 'victim' the people who should be helping them are expecting. I'm sure there's plenty of Psychology textbooks OP's brother can read up about it in. Maybe she should buy him a few.

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o76923 8

While true for lying about most things, describing trauma tends to have slightly different norms. Reliving the memories enough to go into details can be retraumatizing so many abuse victims tend not to go into much detail. It's one of those things that I really wish more cops and prosecutors were trained to understand since they tend to assume vagueness means lying and that when a victim resists going into detail that it must be because they aren't good at lying.

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Thekbking 11

I majored in psychology and actually u may have mixed stuff up, sustained eye contact actually happens more with liars but fidgeting does happen with liars. going into to much detail can be a sign of lying or truth but it's more so the unneeded useless details that it's more than likely a lie. this is all from a textbook.

1 1