Intimacy: Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside...

By InTheDoghouse23 - 24/08/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 854

You deserved it 59 343

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Foreshadowing

By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 975

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By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

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By notsexy - 28/07/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 768

You deserved it 8 442

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 520

You deserved it 362

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Insult to adultery

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 098

You deserved it 7 724

By Anonymous - 03/12/2018 16:00 - United States - Great Barrington

Today, it's my birthday. My husband hasn't slept with me in months. I am so humiliated every time I try to be intimate with him because I am only ever turned down. Tonight, he rubbed my leg and got mad when I fixed myself so I wouldn't be turned on. Apparently tonight was the night but I moved and ruined it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 316

You deserved it 557

Killing the mood

By hotmess - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend stopped by my house after work because he missed me. We made out for a bit outside, which involved some touching and then he left. When I got inside, I got a Facebook message from my older neighbor that read, "That was gross. Please don't do that again in front of me. Really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 652

You deserved it 8 778

Squadoosh 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:40

How do you not realize it wasn't your wife? Unless you just spun quickly and grabbed the first boob you saw.

fmlfmlfml15 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:44

Lesson learned: Look before you grope

Comments

LaughingHobbit 4

Monday 9 April 2012 19:03

Wow u don't know what ur wife looks like? Trollllolllled

thejuice1234 0

Monday 28 May 2012 21:32

FAIL!!! Ydi

Jlarsen24 4

Thursday 31 May 2012 18:14

How did you not know it was your wife.. come on YDI

beaglegal 42

Sunday 19 January 2014 1:59

Plot twist: it was the other man.

Han15 4

Friday 4 April 2014 13:23

my question is, what was his wife and the man doing in the other room?

KayyKaylyn 14

Wednesday 29 October 2014 1:51

You knew it wasn't.. Just using it as an excuse! Lol

fantasyworld 37

Monday 8 December 2014 4:20

Did you not even look at the other person?

bassfisher100 23

Monday 29 December 2014 4:46

(._.)/ look before you grab

daemonsparta 16

Wednesday 6 May 2015 7:02

it seemed the two of you missed the memo it was a swinger party

InsanityShard 23

Tuesday 5 December 2017 23:11

Accidentally hit fyl. Nope, ydi.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 166

You deserved it 65 159

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 3 258

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

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You deserved it 2 564

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 987

You deserved it 3 204

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 178

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 333

You deserved it 4 249