By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Spicy
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 261
You deserved it 25 002
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

gunmania0 12

Does no one else think its sort of the wife's fault? You may try and disagree and say that the op is a bad person for watching ****, but he was just a guy that wasnt getting any from his gal.

131 17

Comments

kodinbug 2

I would say no too! Give it ten minutes after she walks in on you to ask her. Dumb ass

3 1
axel720 3

A thousand people said you deserved it? what???

2 4
lulzmylife 4

Yep, because he does deserve it. I only regret that I can only vote YDI once!

2 4
Samuel55 7

Shouldn't be masturbating to **** then if you're married!

3 3
lulzmylife 4

Honestly? If I'd just walked in on my husband jerking off to ****, I wouldn't be in the mood to sleep with him, either. Some people don't mind if their partners look at ****; others obviously mind quite a lot. I'm in the latter camp, because **** largely just creates unrealistic expectations of women and sex--i.e., why would a guy want to sleep with his normal, imperfect wife when he can wank to digitally manipulated, impossibly perfect women instead? The OP is callously and unfairly putting his wife in a position where she feels she has to compete with an airbrushed **** star. tl;dr: the OP deserves it and I'm in the wife's camp. And all the sexist assholes slamming her in the comments here can go suck it.

8 3
joa76 3

There's a very simple answer to your hypothetical question. Think of the food channel like food ****. If you sit there and watch the food channel all day, does that ruin your appetite for real food? Do you look at the dinner that someone made you and go "Bleagh how could I possibly enjoy eating that after watching all that delicious food on tv?" I don't know about you, but I still enjoy all my favorite foods even on days when I've watched the food channel. **** works the same way. Unless someone's an addict, trust me, they still like the real thing way better, even if they do find the **** woman more attractive (and from my understanding, most don't...most of the guys I've heard any opinion from consider it a poor substitute for the real thing).

2 1
joa76 3

"why would a guy want to sleep with his normal, imperfect wife when he can wank to digitally manipulated, impossibly perfect women instead?" Simple answer. Think of the food channel like food ****. If you watch the food channel for awhile, does that ruin real food for you? Do you look at the dinner someone made you and think "Bleah, how could I possibly enjoy that after seeing all that delicious food on tv?" I don't know about you, but I still enjoy all my favorite foods just as much as always. **** works the same way. Unless they're an addict, trust me, they still far prefer the real thing, even if they find the **** women more attractive (which from my understanding most do not; all the guys I've ever heard any opinion from consider it a poor substitute).

1 1
joa76 3

Er...yes, if you didn't figure out, I did in fact retype it because it didn't post, and then it posted both. I didn't notice until it was too late to fix it. I should know better than to retype it by now, but this is the only website that ends up actually posting it (in my experience), so I forgot. Oops.

0 0
here4theparty 4

Tell her if your not gonna get some action then you gotta beat the meat....8===D

1 1
HomeAl0ne 20

Wait until she goes to buy something she likes, then stop her. Ask why she would spend her own money and deprive you of the pleasure of buying it for her. When she asks if you would like to buy it for her as a gift then, say 'no'. She'll see the light and drop to her knees and blow you right then and there*. *Disclaimer: Actual results may vary.

2 7
samiiiccaa 0

your wife sounds like she's extremely insecure and bitchy....would she rather you cheat on her?

4 5
JadeWalker 14

Maybe if he went straight to her and not the tv then he'd be getting some. he'll be lucky is SHE doesnt cheat on him.

2 4
lizard399 0

Yeah cause cheating is the obvious go-to here.. Why not just have sex with her and toss the **** to begin with?

3 1
leadman1989 15

And this is where polygamist have us beat.

3 2
structuredchaoz 4

If he didn't ask beforehand he fails. If he did ask, he's in the clear. Try watching **** with her. My wife does. It just takes a little oral persuasion. Call it homework.

4 0