Intimacy: Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As...

By Moth_Balled - 15/12/2015 04:50 - Australia

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 529

You deserved it 6 420

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Same thing different taste

Sorry, dude

By Aussie mate - 24/09/2020 08:01 - Australia

Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 21:20 - Canada

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 51 986

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 18 025

Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 333

You deserved it 20 424

Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 471

You deserved it 106 814

Spider-Maaaaaaan

By 8 Legs plus 1 - 08/05/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 971

You deserved it 279

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 599

You deserved it 10 473

By foreverDark - 14/05/2012 12:40 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 611

You deserved it 23 523

It's getting hot in here…

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00 - New Zealand

Today, my wife surprised me with a blow job. Turns out it was a punishment for not doing the washing, as she did it with Chilli powder in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 348

Such a weird move either way

By 1337fade - 07/04/2011 05:19 - Denmark

Today, my wife figured that a good foreplay move would be to rub MY underwear in MY face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 286

You deserved it 9 747

scout333 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:47

When you've got moths in your groin, you know it's been a while.

catwomam 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:45

Personal hygiene is a must!

Comments

Wrathexe 8

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:52

I guess this takes the whole bats in a cave, a whole meaning.

shrekattack99 4

Tuesday 15 December 2015 13:57

Wow, takes moth balls to a whole new level!

lulinator 40

Tuesday 15 December 2015 16:03

I laughed a little too hard at this. Mountain Dew out my nose is a glorious feeling in the morning.

FSGInsainity 15

Tuesday 15 December 2015 17:33

Mountain Dew out your nose is a glorious feelling anytime

bella_nana347 23

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:03

Maybe you have.... Moth balls.

mattrd_fml 31

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:13

moth balls

nEXtIntoTheWild 5

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:14

Either personal hygiene or wasn't paying attention when putting on under wear. Not a pop-trunk-doves-fly-out situation init?

buckdharma 37

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:22

You need a fly swatter. :)

be82tw 17

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:26

Talk about magic trick! Though it will be much more impressive once you work your way up to doves.

Dictionaryspeaks 18

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:34

I would refute! A moth is better then froth!

doumtabarnack 12

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:52

I have one word. Australia.

toastbrot 9

Tuesday 15 December 2015 16:28

if it was in australia, he would have been life blocked by some deadly moth.

philosophicallll 25

Tuesday 15 December 2015 19:52

it was in Australia..

toastbrot 9

Wednesday 16 December 2015 0:42

I can't see the location on my phone :(

BrotherPhil 35

Thursday 17 December 2015 7:15

Don't you mean didly?

idk_rose 25

Tuesday 15 December 2015 14:54

It hasn't been used in so long, that's why.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 791

You deserved it 11 207

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 330

You deserved it 4 254

The Top

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 5 894

Today, I finally realized that my bipolar depression gets worse in hot weather. I live in Hawaii. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 200

Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 056

You deserved it 5 267

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 427

You deserved it 2 023

Today, after I found out my husband cheated on me and then yesterday had to stop him from trying to kill himself, he's now moved out and has decided that this is all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 135

Today, my husband and my sister have never gotten along, always slinging insults, getting in screaming matches, even getting in physical fights on two occasions. Well apparently it’s all been one massive act to cover up the fact they’ve been fucking behind my back for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 169