Health: Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring...

By smith - 28/01/2012 03:13 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 406

You deserved it 57 897

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 196

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 124

You deserved it 4 859

By Anonymous - 15/09/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 184

You deserved it 4 388

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 2 891

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 12/10/2013 22:03 - Iceland - Akranes

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 263

You deserved it 27 806

By someone - 01/04/2014 19:21 - United States - Point Pleasant

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 569

You deserved it 12 677

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 378

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 928

You deserved it 224

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 157

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

Pr0metheus 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:14

Hm well I think your wife should be the one writing this FML, you know since she's practically ******** fire in there...

kayleebearr 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:16

YDI for giving your wife laxatives just because she made fun of your tiny wiener .

Comments

supahcoolperson 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:27

Karmas a bitch

HeatherAries 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:28

It's not your wifes fault your junk is small...

misskit_fml 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:28

you kinda deserve it dude... you deserve to be shit on for that. lol just saying its a pretty crappy situation :P

Myo_fml 20

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:28

Hey, you got exactly what you wanted, didn't you? You wanted to know that she was suffering and be there for it and you were. That should've been perfect, the grand show, and the primetime. Douche.

behemoth198 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 18:32

Front row seats! Like a monster truck rally! Except it smells worse....

perdix 29

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:28

All's not fair in war, that's what the Geneva Conventions are for, for example. Way to take an inaccurate cliché and poison your wife...and your package didn't even get the slightest bit bigger.

bizarre_ftw 21

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:29

a) she made a joke, you physically harmed her, you don't deserve her and she should leave you b) you deserved it X70

lahorasono 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:29

Of course you deserve that! You dick! (or not, apparently)

TomHarrow 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:33

Totally deserve that shit man. You could have just to her that her ass looks fat in what she is wearing.

tnt227 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:42

Isn't that a good thing?

TomHarrow 5

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:17

Only if it's not overflowing out the pants.

GoW_Chick 14

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:09

Go to Walmart, and you'll see that there's at least one lady overflowing out of their animal print spandex pants, I have nightmares, this must be stopped! *shudders*

Gauzl 2

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:41

All is fair but love and war. Not all is fair in love and war

perdix 29

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:45

Instead of flushing your money down the toilet with laxatives, you should have invested in Enzyte. It may have made your package a bit less ridiculously tiny.