Miscellaneous: Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in... - FML

By weave9z - 04/09/2012 02:08 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 190

You deserved it 3 161

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Same thing different taste

By deargodthepain - 02/02/2014 16:53 - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 284

You deserved it 8 863

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 77

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 715

You deserved it 537

Gunk

By married to a bipedal husky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Butler

Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 770

You deserved it 1 318

By wtfiswrongwithher - 07/05/2011 13:56 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 7 512

By ShiddyDiddy - 26/06/2019 04:39

Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 201

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 3 532

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 125

You deserved it 4 861

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 58 063

Next

Top comments

GovernorGeneral 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:06

Everything should have its own theme song.

boating_guy 33

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:04

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Comments

mrsmaglietta 6

Wednesday 5 September 2012 9:17

she sounds like a pure delight

maticha_fml 3

Wednesday 5 September 2012 23:01

Hilarious!

pawzluver 7

Thursday 6 September 2012 4:17

Well, that will get annoying.

sexylady3884 0

Thursday 6 September 2012 7:54

HAHA!!! that just made my day.

cmac86 23

Thursday 6 September 2012 10:45

I wanna hear it.

cutiesoprano19 4

Thursday 6 September 2012 23:23

Makes me think of sheen form jimmy neutron :)

chickadie2004 0

Friday 7 September 2012 1:24

Jenny I got to peee I need to pee right nowww. Jenny I got to peee. Go go go go down the draaain. Go go go go down the draaaaain. "to theme song Jenny (867-5309)"

88vivera 9

Saturday 8 September 2012 20:42

Try taking a shower somewhere else

EMTchic 14

Tuesday 30 October 2012 2:26

"Goin' peeeeeee in the showwweeeerrrrrrrrr !! Yeaa !!" Does it sound something like that ???

ScenicSubterfuge 39

Sunday 28 April 2013 18:18

That's kind of cute I think>.

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Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 534

You deserved it 45 203

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 873

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 261

You deserved it 17 021

Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 323

You deserved it 822

Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 754

You deserved it 1 159

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 833

You deserved it 1 743

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 602

You deserved it 3 842