Miscellaneous: Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in...

By weave9z - 04/09/2012 02:08 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 190

You deserved it 3 161

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By deargodthepain - 02/02/2014 16:53 - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 284

You deserved it 8 863

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 77

Romance

By shortyybrooke - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 715

You deserved it 537

Gunk

By married to a bipedal husky - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Butler

Today, I found out that my wife sheds worse than a husky when she showers. I've had to clean the drain before I shower or it floods the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 770

You deserved it 1 318

By wtfiswrongwithher - 07/05/2011 13:56 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 7 512

By ShiddyDiddy - 26/06/2019 04:39

Today, my girlfriend's obsession with her bird reached a new level when she wrote him a song specifically for after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 201

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 19/10/2018 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 3 532

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 125

You deserved it 4 861

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 58 063

GovernorGeneral 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:06

Everything should have its own theme song.

boating_guy 33

Tuesday 4 September 2012 9:04

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Comments

Sheepiebeepie 26

Sunday 6 December 2015 3:55

Grow a sense of humor and some real problems.

AleyahRose123 6

Sunday 1 May 2016 4:42

I don't understand why this FML... I would say Marry her but u already did so why u complaining

kopitos 2

Wednesday 7 September 2016 5:41

your wife is awesome !!

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 93

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

The Top

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 135

You deserved it 3 824

Today, while reading up on my ex-brother-in-law’s trial, I tripped over my own two feet, and heard my wrists, hands and fingers crack on a stone table. I can’t afford any more hospital bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 240

Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 256

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 997

You deserved it 892

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 951

You deserved it 14 043

Same thing different taste

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

Romance

Gunk

Top comments

Comments