By I_dislike_Twilight - 08/09/2011 12:52 - United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 399
You deserved it 4 707
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Top comments

Egnar 19

Give her what she wants. Start acting emotionless, leave bite marks on her neck and constantly tell her how you guys can no longer be together because your extended family wants you killed. Oh and don't forgot the constant whining and being annoying. If you want to be bold you can also remind her anytime she wants to have sex that blood no longer flows through your body so you're unable to get it up and please her.

434 14

Comments

peacefully84 19

Make a pornography montage of some really kinky acts and tell her that *that* is what you feel is missing from your marriage.

21 4
sugarbaby9908 20

That's better then her just ending it

5 1
godofcyanide 8

I'd have ended it for her if she pulled some Twilight montage garbage with me.

2 0
reddawn85 8

Show her what's missing in your marriage with a montage of Bond films. See how the show fits on the other foot

5 0
reddawn85 8

I meant shoe. Sorry grammar Nazis.

2 0
reddawn85 8

The point is that he can't take her issue with their marriage seriously because she pointed it out to him using a montage of a pre-teen trend flick. If someone tried proving a serious point to you using a montage of teenage mutant ninja turtles, you'd probably feel the same.

0 0
Battle765 4

Find a montage of vampires doing in some hot chicks and tell her that is what your marriage is missing. Then give her the divorce papers.

5 1
Taurus_ChicKa 36

What's missing from your marriage? Romance? True love? Maybe you should take the hint. To all you Twilight haters out there, I guess you have to be lucky enough to find true love and someone who will do anything for you and really care about you to appreciate the rarity of what this series portrays.

6 28
McAninch35 9

I barfed all over my phone after reading that.

26 1
Nikkitaria 9

Lmao on the opposite. You gotta be really desperate for true love to enjoy this, hence why 14yr old girls are mostly the ones who like it

6 1
Joey44 15

Oh yeah, I dream every night about how romantic it would be to have a boyfriend who broke into my house and watched me sleep/had sex with me while I was unconscious/impregnated me with an undead foetus and then chewed it out of my womb with his teeth *eye roll*

11 0
tona01 16

Yes necrophilia is what true love means

4 0
Ins0mau 20

I have those things. And sorry to say, it in no way resembles a Twilight montage. LOL!

3 0
shellzy 20

Seriously? A guy who'll do absolutely anything for you unquestioningly is not a soul mate. A guy who'll do absolutely anything for you unquestioningly is a tool. I don't know about you but I have no love, respect, or need for tools, unless we're speaking of the functional non-sparkly phallic assortment. The only sparkly dick I ever want to see better be battery operated. And I imagine you would just love to wake up to your boyfriend staring intently at you like so O_O all night long. Personally I'd file a restraining order quickly as possible but I obviously have no idea what true love is amirite?

5 0
fantasyworld 37

How is watching someone sleep romantic? Someone watching someone else sleep is in every horror movie and book.

1 0
Wheredidgrungego 12

And this is what the modern marriage has come to. Sad isn't it?

2 1
perdix 29

Give her the video "How to Give Head." Have a nice day:)

15 2
thrAsHeRr9081 16

Nice reference!

1 0