Intimacy: Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 05:18 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 3 949

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 217

You deserved it 12 772

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 92

Stuck on amber

By Anonymous - 01/10/2020 07:58 - United States - Greensburg

Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 208

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 259

You deserved it 25 002

By ._. - 05/06/2013 00:08 - United Kingdom - Letchworth

Spicy

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 814

You deserved it 8 866

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 247

You deserved it 8 412

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Spicy

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 578

You deserved it 49 782

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 143

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 248

You deserved it 321

Coupon time!

By 2 Accommodating - 06/08/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife crushed my cell phone with a heavy plate. She offered to pay for it in sex, which I eagerly accepted. When I asked her for “a downpayment” an hour later, she looked at me like she’d accommodated this arrangement for far too long already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 138

Next

Top comments

lordtumbles 9

Sunday 8 July 2012 12:15

Obviously, the concretes not as hard as you!

zandalee 19

Sunday 8 July 2012 12:17

Go buy a sexy red man-g-string, put a red rose between your teeth and go lay on your bed. Good luck.

Comments

o4berk 0

Sunday 8 July 2012 20:44

You know your wife might be a lesbian when ^...

Herculesninja27 5

Sunday 8 July 2012 21:09

Get another women to pleasure you.. Just have your wife for emotional side:)

Boss402 0

Sunday 8 July 2012 23:19

the ****...

drew2375 3

Monday 9 July 2012 0:13

I'd give that broad her walking papers.

wubbazugg 5

Monday 9 July 2012 2:00

Apparently she gets a better workout busting that.

dead_insects 18

Monday 9 July 2012 2:42

I am ready for all the hate and thumbs down that I am going to get for this comment, but this is reason 135 why marriage is completely terrifying. I'm sorry OP...

183933 6

Monday 9 July 2012 2:57

Time to trade the old model in.

bloodangel494 1

Monday 9 July 2012 4:50

damn dude, that's ****** up.

AidenSurvival 7

Monday 9 July 2012 6:30

Ack. You're not repulsive, are you OP? Most likely not. A marriage cannot sustain without a healthy sex life.

LadyJoker21 0

Monday 9 July 2012 6:31

Slap her

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The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, after weeks of thinking about how to ask my crush out, I finally was ready to message her on Instagram, only to find out that she unfollowed me after watching my last story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 389

Today, my father shot my fiancé. He's fine, but the wedding is off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 692

You deserved it 4 697

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 112

Today, my girlfriend dumped me while taking a walk through a park at night. After that, I had to escort her home as she has an eye condition, and is almost completely blind when dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 155

You deserved it 762

Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 1 113

Today, my new boyfriend told me he was having a “swamp day”. Apparently, it’s a day where for some reason, no matter how thoroughly he wipes his ass, he will need to wipe it again every 30 minutes, as shit continually leaks out of him and turns his ass crack “swampy.” I think I threw up a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 159