Intimacy: Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 13:07 - United States - Watchung

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 22 501

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Same thing different taste

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 649

You deserved it 61 874

John Coltrane

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 112

You deserved it 22 198

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 092

Over and out

By hatinthelife - 18/02/2012 06:34 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 614

You deserved it 4 454

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 580

You deserved it 3 075

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 650

You deserved it 6 199

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 851

You deserved it 18 701

Shemp_5 14

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:56

Dont ask, dont tell...

ScottVining 21

Sunday 30 November 2014 23:57

You sorta had that comin haha

Comments

laaryssa 21

Monday 1 December 2014 4:34

At least she said before you

fatman27 3

Monday 1 December 2014 4:58

What did you expect? Really?

caleb_9756 14

Monday 1 December 2014 5:01

This was wild from start to finish.

chikinscratch00 8

Monday 1 December 2014 5:07

lol that's hella funny

CaroAurelia 12

Monday 1 December 2014 5:07

That's awkward, so I won't say you deserve it, but you did kind of walk into that one.

Hash13 13

Monday 1 December 2014 5:15

Well, golden rule 'never ask'. All of us have been burnt by it.

TPrice21 2

Monday 1 December 2014 5:23

Well, you asked

JKPwnage 27

Monday 1 December 2014 5:29

Practicing*

tiffanyslapp 18

Monday 1 December 2014 5:45

Does the number matter? Relax, dude.

Parvati48 15

Monday 1 December 2014 5:59

Hopefully she meant 6 exs not 6 guys while you were married...

cjwayy 22

Monday 1 December 2014 6:12

Exactly, there is very subtle **** shaming in this FML

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 268

You deserved it 4 813

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, after being unemployed for over four months, I got a call from a company I've wanted to work for for over 2 years. After they were about to set up an interview, they called me by a different name. After correcting them, they hung up on me. Turns out they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 177

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 511

You deserved it 3 368

Today, I caught one of my students checking out my butt while I was helping another student at his table. I teach 8th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 466

You deserved it 414

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 574

You deserved it 2 780

Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 759

You deserved it 4 069

Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 137

Same thing different taste

John Coltrane

Timing

Over and out

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