Intimacy: Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying... - FML

By God hates me - 26/01/2009 00:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 157

You deserved it 8 290

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

By Hahaha - 29/01/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 723

You deserved it 40 290

By anonymous - 16/09/2013 05:35 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 050

You deserved it 2 716

Timing

By embarrassed - 01/06/2009 20:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me, "When?" so I replied "Towards the end." I didn't realize she was actually asking what day this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 629

You deserved it 65 157

By Disappointed - 04/10/2014 03:08

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying, "It's for my acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 802

You deserved it 5 127

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 144

You deserved it 8 887

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 407

You deserved it 33 876

By aaah. - 24/05/2012 05:42 - Canada - Caronport

Spicy

Today, I had to take Viagra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 183

You deserved it 7 784

Go forth and NOT multiply

By MirandaKristine - 06/03/2020 12:31 - United States - Miami

Today, my dad handed me my refilled birth control prescription. I thanked him, and he replied, "Well, God forbid you run out and reproduce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 334

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 872

You deserved it 4 425

Next

Top comments

tincan 0

Monday 16 March 2009 9:46

Yeah, I don't get why either. Was it your real birthday or did it mean something else?

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 14:54

They should call it "baby chaser" instead of the morning after pill.

Comments

mrguy266 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 21:45

becuz some people aren't that attractive, so the people expect them to only get sex on their b day

Brittnye 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 19:15

I think this story might actually be about me. I live in TX and once told a girl happy birthday while she was buying the morning after pill but it was not condenscending in any way, I didn't even realize how it would sound. I had to check her driver's license to make sure she was old enough to buy it and it just so happened that it was her birthday, so I wished her a happy one. I have nothing against people that need the pill or even give their situation a second thought. sometimes things happen. better safe than sorry.

ilaaFML 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 2:38

wow, the chances. haa

truelyawesome 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 3:36

1= fanally! someone with a brain!

GoColts8718 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 7:21

Was it ur birthday?

xXscream_girlXx 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 7:52

You idiot, the morning after pill helps prevent conception. Though, there is a shot to I guess "abort" the zygote. Bit the morning after pill helps prevent the pregnancy from starting. Damn, go back to freshman health...

JessicaIsabel 0

Friday 22 April 2011 16:55

because it would be the babies conception date ('birthday') if OP was pregnant.

aubrey1 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 21:15

I don't see see the FML in here.

littlemiley180 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 17:59

i dnt get it

cwells0430 12

Monday 22 April 2013 5:59

Lmao I don't know why that's funny but it is

kenyrabit 25

Thursday 28 August 2014 13:20

They typically card you for the pill. Lady noticed to be nice (likely oblivious to her product). Happy Birthday indeed.

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The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 184

Today, and ever since I told my wife I had sacked my secretary, a pretty redhead, I’ve noticed my wife has started reverting to her old habit of getting headaches on Fridays, which is normally sex night. Funny how this wasn’t a problem when I had a pretty secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 1 047

The Top

Today, I was once again passed over for a promotion. I'm now the assistant to a kid who has failed to meet almost every single responsibility he's been given before. It's my job to make sure he's successful, and if he isn't, I'll lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 315

You deserved it 2 174

Today, I woke up to find out that my tinnitus has suddenly worsened. I used to be able to just ignore it, but now it's ridiculous. Almost everyone says I'm "too young" to have it, especially this bad. I say those people can go fuck themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 120

Today, I had to take my parents to the hospital after a failed attempt at a Kamasutra position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 60

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 2 518

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 585

You deserved it 2 656

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 849

You deserved it 6 321