hope you can get annulled if you can't get it worked out. #273 this does happen.

she was scared. its nothing to worry about and its actually kind of cute. shes had awhile to build up her anxiety about it because she knew the exact day it was going to go down. just give her some time and im sure if it were a more spontaneous situation she would be caught up in the heat of the moment.

I think your approach was bad. Undressing yourself first and smiling at her? Good grief. What about kissing? Light touching? Working your way up to something more passionate, being aware of what is turning her on? You standing there with likely the first erect penis she's ever seen (I'm assuming you were at this point), at least in real life, must have been terrifying. You problem was you made this all about you. You should have made it all about her. When a man loses his virginity it's almost always a feel-good awesome experience. For a woman it can be worse than the dentist if it's not done with care and consideration. Couple that with the fact she sounds scared of sex in general. And it's gotta be really easy to wait for something you don't actually want to do. This is a reason why having a total hands off policy for dating can lead to utter disappointment. Some wandering hands prior to marriage could have gotten her excited about what she was waiting for, instead of afraid.

Oh man.. FYL

As a woman waiting for marriage, good work you two for waiting. Now, let her know you can wait more. In fact, forever. If she knows you're waiting not just because "give her time, she'll come around" but because you could be completely happy with a completely sexless marriage. Boom, pressure's off, everything's fine and gets sexy naturally. But you and her both have to be thoroughly convinced it'll be okay if you didn't have sex.

Firstly # 276: It's so nice to see a truly intelligent, helpful comment on here. Secondly; mate I'm 24 and even I've had that happen to me. Not on my wedding night of course, but I've had girlfriends back out of sex before. Personally I like the fact they didn't feel they *had* to do it or I'd leave them. I'm well aware it's a whole other story when you're married, but at least she didn't let you have sex with her only to burst into tears half way through or something. She obviously wants her first time to be perfect, that much is obvious. It's also obvious that she wants that *perfect* first time to be with *you*. That's why she married you, and why she waited for you in the first place. She obviously didn't feel like the moment was right, and wasn't willing to settle for anything less than a perfect first time with the man she loves. My first time - to my mind - really was perfect, so I can't fault her for a second. Though in your position I sincerely doubt I'd be so level-headed about it all!

#250, I have heard about many experiences like the one you described in your last paragraph (I do live in the bible belt) and I have heard so many times that if a woman makes up her mind she doesn't like sex, SHE NEVER WILL. She will never want it and she will HATE YOU for wanting it. I believe that wholeheartedly. Some people are too disconnected to ever want or love anyone. Trying to be with them will only ever tear you apart.

There's nothing wrong with waiting until marriage, everyone has different views! To the poster, perhaps standing naked in front of her wasn't the best idea, you should gradually work your way to it.

Was this an arranged marriage? Did you not meet your wife before your wedding? I just don't understand why you would marry someone without even talking this kind of thing over! I am not even blasting people who choose to wait until marriage--their prerogative--but it sounds like you don't even really know your wife that well if you didn't anticipate this. There could be several reasons for her reacting this way: extreme religious beliefs (shoulda talked that over), brainwashing, abuse (which again..helpful to talk over). But it seems to me that there is not a ton of communication between you two, which to me is the real FML as that is going to cause some major problems down the line. You can spice up your sex life...if you ever have one...not that hard. But learning how to communicate is a kink you should have worked out before you ever said "I do". /rant

awwww..... she sounds freaking scared...... take your time man, i bet that eventually she'll become a sex machine :)