Yeahh... she's got issues mate. I feel for you.

Just take it slow. It can be pretty terrifying that first time. My husband and I were both virgins and it took us a while to get comfortable.

i agree with everything number 23 said!

me and my wife talked about waiting til we got married for alittle while but we ended up doing it anyway(still took each others virginity). like everyone else has said just talk to her about it, something may have happened to her and she might have some reservations about it. or she could be like my wife before we did it. i was the penis she had ever seen and she thought it was huge and was really worried about it hurting. if its that you just have to ease her into it. start with other things that aren't sex, try oral or hand jobs to get her used to it, and most important of all talk about it. as you prolly already know women are all about feelings and she may have certain expectations about it and it is good to get those on the table early so you both know as much as possible about each other. share your fantasies, your turn ons, and hopes for what you want out of sex and what you would like to try. buy a book or two on sex to get ideas on what works for each of you. it might take a few weeks to get her worked up to it, but once you both get everything out in the open it will happen. just don't force it on her, especially if she has had some type of trauma, that could just make her relive it more and make things worse. start slow, if she's like my wife was it still hurt her the first few times we did it. just listen to her and what she says, she its hurting too much and she needs to stop just take a break, if you get blue balls see if she'll give you a hand job of something. it will turn out alright, just give her alittle time.

omg she's just scared I agree with waiting until you get married but you should have talked about it at least. she'll come round dont worry #8 that killed me ahahah but I don't think that's the best approach.

awww :( she was probably just really nervous and scared and freaked out because there's all this stress and pressure and importance placed on this one event that is supposed to happen at a scheduled time. be patient with her, let her calm down a little from OMG A WEDDING, and ease into it..it'll happen.

This reminds me of Ian McEwan's book, On Chesil Beach.

Congrats on being able to wait until marriage. It takes a lot of restraint. Your wife was probably scared. I know I will be on my first time. And she's probably been psyching herself out for weeks because she knows the exact date when it happens. Also, perhaps you shouldn't have just stripped down and smiled. She was probably picturing her first time more romantically than that... I know I am.

Sounds like maybe the 'pressure' was getting to her. Losing your virginity can be a nerve wrecking thing sometimes.

Have you considered the possibility of therapy? Obviously she has some sort of issue with intimacy that she needs to work with. Be patient, work through it and your relationship will ultimately be stronger for it. If you want to leave her simply because she won't do the deed, then she deserves better than you anyway.