Intimacy: Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind...

By gayboii - 19/03/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 35 665

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Same thing different taste

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 311

You deserved it 37 589

By DumbCuntApparently - 27/02/2013 20:52 - Netherlands - Hilversum

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 091

You deserved it 4 471

Kids, it doesn't get any better

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 03:02

Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 131

Dozing off

By Math_Rocker - 02/09/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 335

You deserved it 35 152

By teepee - 13/11/2009 15:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 122

You deserved it 14 036

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 117

By RBHSWedgieGirl - 23/01/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 517

You deserved it 36 070

Zaps you dead

By FirstWeekFail - 04/09/2018 18:30

Today, I was bitching to my mom on the phone about the long, boring paper assignment my Lit professor gave us. Right after saying, "That woman needs to get laid" I heard laughter behind me. I turned around. Hello professor, just on my way to drop the course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 3 224

Viewer discretion advised

By Jane - 08/11/2024 15:00 - United States - Encino

Today, I was super bored in health class so I decided to watch Invader Zim on my computer. I never made sure my headphones were connected. so the whole class turned and stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 645

By Becky - 11/05/2015 20:54 - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 923

You deserved it 2 385

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 20 March 2011 0:26

Now your pen-is very happy! ;D

howslife123 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 0:21

they were turned on and you know it

Comments

IDKKK69 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 4:11

that guy in your pic is really black.

BabyLuis 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:11

did the pen taste good?

spider63 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:20

how immature r they realy

PwningLamp1 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:42

Confused, your name is gayboii. Not like it's any of my concern, though.

PwningLamp1 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 5:45

162 - I agree

What_Exactly 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 6:06

aw that blows:p

Domonator 16

Sunday 20 March 2011 6:22

Actually, it sucks.

hcovballer247 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 6:29

u practicing..?

OCDC 9

Sunday 20 March 2011 6:46

Come on guys, obviously OP's pen was getting a little soft. It's hard to take notes with a limp pen.

OCDC 9

Sunday 20 March 2011 7:11

Why thank you :) Except for the fact I'm not of the male gender...

OCDC 9

Sunday 20 March 2011 7:18

It's all good :)

db_rainblow 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 7:13

In Soviet Russia, pen blows you.

julian24245 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 8:34

Practice makes perfect right?

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 2 713

The Top

Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 175

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 160

You deserved it 1 710

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 731

You deserved it 87 798

Today, in front of a group of family, friends, and acquaintances, a guy I hadn't talked to in about two years asked me how rehab was going. In the monstrous silence that followed, I had to awkwardly explain that I work at a nursing home that also functions as a rehabilitation center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 567

You deserved it 1 524

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 701

You deserved it 3 485

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 871

You deserved it 592

Same thing different taste

Kids, it doesn't get any better

Dozing off

Live dumping

Zaps you dead

Viewer discretion advised

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