Miscellaneous: Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really...

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 62 560

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 46 576

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 774

By alisaav - 08/08/2014 07:40 - Thailand

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 13 652

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 823

By Weak Disposition - 27/04/2012 04:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 314

You deserved it 29 619

He who controls the spice controls the universe

By Anonymous - 01/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 523

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 162

By splitzville - 16/03/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 963

You deserved it 40 870

By fuckendog - 25/07/2014 06:05 - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 55 787

GloriousWhorious 6

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:01

YDI for being overly flirty.

lopez1222 3

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:01

hahaha not cute...

Comments

tayfehrenbachxo 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 11:53

talk about hotdog biting, but biting somebodies ear isn't sexy either, you know. it's effing weird, somebody did that to me once.

burlesque18 5

Thursday 30 June 2011 13:38

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sfaham01 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 19:36

I wish I was there I woulda cleaned up that mess ..

tattedredhead 3

Thursday 30 June 2011 22:07

There's nothing sexy about eating a hot dog....at costco.

FlyingLazerWALRU 0

Friday 1 July 2011 0:19

Are you a choker?

Boomwrong 0

Friday 1 July 2011 0:54

1. that's funny. 2. you spelled COSCO wrong I think. I could be wrong but it's doubtful.

SockMonkey333 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 3:40

That's funny YOU spelled Costco wrong

Dudeness23 0

Friday 1 July 2011 7:27

hot girls don't eat hot dogs

Michyxo 14

Friday 1 July 2011 14:57

What a well founded argument.

justanotherhuman 21

Friday 1 July 2011 9:44

Dear OP, It was the wink. Screwed with the universe. I'm telling you, no one has successfully pulled off a flirt wink that *actually worked* since the early 90's. Since then, wink = blatant sex invitation. There's no coy, or innocent, or sexy with a wink; it's just bare and raw. Ignore what everyone is saying about location and circumstance, I assure you: the wink cursed your light and fun flirt.