Intimacy: Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told...

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 5 563

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Same thing different taste

TMI

By crazyman. - 12/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Keller

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 4 139

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 4 327

Brutally honest

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 2 920

By bestbfever - 17/05/2017 02:00

Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 850

You deserved it 413

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 700

You deserved it 1 729

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 564

You deserved it 56 763

Tense dinner

By bittenbyadonkey - 28/01/2011 17:23 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 278

You deserved it 3 577

By Out from Hell - 22/04/2013 22:31 - United States - Woodstock

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 645

You deserved it 76 571

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 17:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 506

You deserved it 3 286

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 516

You deserved it 5 325

CassieMarieee 7

Thursday 15 December 2011 22:36

Nothing brings people together like some good old fashioned conversation at a family dinner :)

QueenMichael 16

Thursday 15 December 2011 22:42

"She's okay with the missionary, and nothing else. Missionary, missionary, missionary. I'm all for a Christian lifestyle but this is ridiculous."

Comments

lightningman 0

Friday 16 December 2011 1:23

Santa only stoped at 3 hoes. You went for four...

ALLDAY88 8

Friday 16 December 2011 1:25

I find this as acceptable table talk.

linkinpark98 23

Friday 16 December 2011 1:39

Hey, maybe you're right. Some people find this type of conversation surprisingly normal. o_0

rubberduckie94 13

Friday 16 December 2011 1:42

i was wondering if he told them she talks in her sleep myself

rubberduckie94 13

Friday 16 December 2011 1:48

maybe your parents got him drunk on purpose so he would dish the dirt on you.

Brooding99 15

Friday 16 December 2011 4:19

Crack, this is what it does to your brain

argybargy 3

Friday 16 December 2011 5:22

Don't you mean "EX-boyfriend"?

beddington 7

Friday 16 December 2011 5:37

Take it in the ass.

eightup 0

Friday 16 December 2011 6:14

let me get yours ;)

SMDhaterzFML 2

Friday 16 December 2011 6:31

What do u do in bed?

yuri63f6 7

Friday 16 December 2011 6:43

Family gatherings just got a hell lot more interesting.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, I called customer service for my phone. We talked for a while and the man was very nice to me. Too nice. Right before hanging up, he said, “Have a good day ma’am!” He was flirting the whole time and I didn’t realize it, and he didn’t that I’m a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 176

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 3 646

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 240

You deserved it 2 472

Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 14 210

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 7 months to come over on Valentine's Day so I can cook dinner for him. He asked if he could invite his wife over as well. Guess who's newly single right before Valentine's Day! FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 554

You deserved it 591

Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 143