Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very...

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 2 866

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By nicknick2 - 18/05/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 080

You deserved it 3 918

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 4 361

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 179

You deserved it 7 690

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 438

DFlit1 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:54

Old bitches r still bitches

saIty 17

Tuesday 23 August 2011 15:59

It's a miracle she's alive. Some old people cut the cheese so hard they blow up.

Comments

captainhooba 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:03

lol im a retard and shit lol

anencephalic 14

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:23

I beg your pardon?

whirlednews 8

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:59

Hahahaha!

hawaiian2393 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:07

If she blames her farts on u then SHE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO hahaha

PhillyEagles 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 18:56

Stupid guido

hawaiian2393 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 19:36

Haha nah I just think it's funny

AyeeArieel 5

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:08

just think about it as you'll never see those people again in your life

muchagente 5

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:17

but you always do! you just don't recognize them. which makes it worse.

spamky 7

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:14

Who cares? It's not like you're never going to see those people again

sciencekidster1 8

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:18

That's when you spill lemon juice on the floor and point to her.

jessecax 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:22

Could have been worse.. She could have left a trail from where you were standing.

hyden121 2

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:28

I would just explain to her out loud that the corks and duct tape are a few isles over...

pmartinez516 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:44

Hahahahahahaha yuck!!!!!

loserman67 35

Tuesday 23 August 2011 16:49

Rotten egg fart? Bad cheese fart? Asparagus fart? Come on - details, details -- like did it have good hang time? If it was any of the above I'd smile and say "Yeah, it's mine, you have a problem with that?"