Miscellaneous: Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought...

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 21:09 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 667

You deserved it 47 765

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Same thing different taste

Surprise!

By Idiot - 26/05/2019 02:00

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 2 267

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 240

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 129

You deserved it 3 199

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 645

You deserved it 321

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 997

You deserved it 1 806

By what_the_hell - 20/06/2013 08:35 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 866

You deserved it 3 601

By SilverAuthor - 29/07/2016 22:53 - United States - Detroit

Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 2 070

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 974

By disappointment son - 19/05/2017 12:00

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 487

You deserved it 248

Never do this

By anon - 06/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Danbury

Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 754

SneakyCaveman 13

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Is grabbing your mother's ass a normal thing for you?

Dadothy 8

Friday 17 August 2012 0:10

Even if it was your mom why would you grab her ass?

Comments

DontWalkAway 8

Friday 17 August 2012 4:38

Who grabs their mom's ass anyway?

TcheQ 12

Friday 17 August 2012 4:45

Barf.

outoftown 26

Friday 17 August 2012 4:47

Distinct cultural differences on this. Maybe Google could map the world's it's-ok-to-grab-your-mother's-ass areas, to avoid future problems.

R4LJ 10

Friday 17 August 2012 4:48

Your MOTHERS ass? Dude your sick.

grudger 14

Friday 17 August 2012 4:53

You tried to feel up your own mother?

12inchDeke 4

Friday 17 August 2012 4:53

Why..why would it be funny to grab your mom's ass??

Whydoyouask 11

Friday 17 August 2012 5:26

This FML holds the record for number of similar comments lol

nickolascronk 3

Friday 17 August 2012 5:30

Say whatever you want about this guy. That's funny shit.

MrsVicious 8

Friday 17 August 2012 5:35

Grabbing your mom's ass? Gross.

Beowoolfie 1

Friday 17 August 2012 5:38

Friend, treat it as a life lesson on "things not to do in public in America", and be grateful you didn't end up on the sex offender registry. Your day could have been much, much worse.