By Anonymous - 05/08/2012 05:33 - United States - Mahwah

Spicy
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 467
You deserved it 6 627
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

DKjazz 20

Hold on, let me go Google "Italian Chandelier".

814 11

Comments

Schiffy 18

Hope you got to a hospital soon after, fractured penile syndrome is potentially permanent.

10 0
CockieMonster 0

I read your comment with an evil Hichigo snicker....

4 1
The_F3rris 11

Maybe make a mental note that that position is dangerous? Haha

2 0
Dracoboxer357 35

^ Well, it Can, yes. See replies to comment #7. :)

5 0
Bjuddstr 4

Them Italians are tough... they make the rest of us look like limp dicks.

14 1
Senseless_487 29

And apparently they make some of us look like broke dicks.

18 1
LennyComa 39

At least OP didn't snap his banjo string.

7 1
brevolorio 5

I hope you've get better hell u made me relive my pain when i crushed my nut on a railing when skateboarding and I screamed a week from the pain.

7 2
Dracoboxer357 35

53- Now that's pain I can relate to. :P When I was 16 one summer, for reasons too brilliant to explain, ;) , I was running at full power through the woods in the middle of the night when I collided with a tree stump some asshole had cut off at exactly groin height. That was my new 10 outta 10 on my pain scale. I threw up for about half an hour until my party found me and carried me home. For the next 3 days, moving any faster than a 110 yr old man with a walker, was like getting re-kicked again. No laughing either, just as bad. :p *Shrugs* That's my story. I don't recommend trying it at home. :P

11 0
galacticstorm 6

In high school,I was the goalie in a soccer team after school,one of the opponents came up to me and kicked the ball as hard as they could,only it wasn't the soccer ball they kicked.I curled up into a ball for quite a while in lots of pain. the memory haunts me to this day.

5 0
jkjorn 16

My worst shot was one time I was trying to "tightrope walk" on a 2 by 4 suspended in air between 2 barrels- it started wobbling, I slipped off and fell with my legs straddling the board. All I remember is the world turned red & then I blacked out for a moment. Thus ended my dreams of joining the circus.

6 0
jacjac23 2

136 - that reminds me of the movie Rumour Has It. 'Blunt Testicular Trauma'

1 0
hateevryone 14

You can actually break it? I thought that was just a myth.

1 19
The13emo 0

Wow you can actually break it!

4 11
Apostle123 2

Are you guys stupid? Of course you can break it

12 2
unhappycamperuk 12

sorry OP, you have my genuine sympathy. I'm a theatre nurse and have seen one 'broken penis' in my time. I don't think it would be right to go into the details of what we did to fix it, but I will tell you that I later described it, post surgery and swathed in bandages...

7 1
unhappycamperuk 12

... as 'the most depressed looking penis I've ever seen'. I actually had genuine feelings of pity for the penis that were separate from my pity for the poor guy! get better soon, and don't do it again!

7 0