Kids: Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went...

By iailwkrb - 26/02/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 904

You deserved it 28 015

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Same thing different taste

Bad babysitter

By cantprovenothing - 18/04/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 625

You deserved it 48 840

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 556

You deserved it 2 601

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 05:29 - United States - Lewis Center

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 290

You deserved it 7 003

Judgmental much!?

By Stairway2Heaven - 02/03/2009 21:03 - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 663

You deserved it 19 449

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 12 064

Tasty

By anon - 30/08/2015 18:44 - United States

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 466

You deserved it 2 011

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 110

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 046

You deserved it 6 251

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 3 806

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 240

arcxjo 2

Thursday 26 February 2009 20:15

You could have just NOT BROUGHT LUBE TO A BABYSITTING GIG. Leave it at home, or in the car, or anywhere else. How urgent a need could have presented itself in the circumstances?

Lick_yer_face 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 20:07

Yeah... I would have definitely taken it off her, and then made sure I never left my purse laying around again... I bet it was fun calming the kids down though... you go to grab them and they slip right out of your hands. XD

Comments

suckerz 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 20:46

why didnt you take it away from them??? and tell them not to go through other people's purses??? BAD BABYSITTER!!!

TwoBuck 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 20:56

Clearly she brought it with her in case one of the fat ones got stuck in a doorway or something.

Juno88 0

Friday 25 November 2011 22:25

Oh my lord this comment made my night :')

dang_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 21:07

why didn't you take it back and put it out of reach??? so deserved hahaha!

potentpotable 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 21:19

Parents to OP: "WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. LUBING. UP. MY. KIDS?!?!?! YDI, loser.

chunkofchange 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 22:30

lmao #15 that was much deserved though.

swim_fml 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 22:33

When little kids find my drugs I tell them it's candy. For some reason they're all gone.

Femanon 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 23:11

You're a full on idiot. I would have said "Nothing." and taken it away. Plus, she's 7, she can read. I'm almost 90% sure she knew you were lying when you said it was lotion. Kids aren't as stupid as you think. Also, I hope you got fired as their babysitter. I would have. The fact that you left the room and continued to let them play with the "lotion" shows that you have no control over the children. Seriously. Common sense could have told you that.