Today, while cashiering at Walmart, a creepy guy came in buying... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By annie - 23/04/2021 02:13

Today, while cashiering at Walmart, a creepy guy came in buying jumper cables, a car battery, WD-40, a Fisher-Price play guitar, laxatives, and one of each flavor of yogurt. Curious about the interesting combination of items, I asked what he was up to. He simply said “Necromancy” and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 41

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Babies Kids Family Nice Guys Facebook Social Media Love Friends Work Bosses Weird Smells Transportation Cars Accident Thanksgiving Dogs Poopoo peepee Pregnancy Embarrassing Grandparents Awkward Alcohol Coworkers Scary Animals Annoying Pizza Healthy Lifestyle Health

The Top

Today, while applying deodorant, my mom came up behind me slapped the stick out of my hand, and confiscated it, saying, “No one needs deodorant when it’s this cold.” At work, I got so many complaints about my B.O that I was sent home to go take a shower. I shower every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 162

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 1 280

The Top

Today, my brace broke and due to Covid-19, I can't get it fixed for another month and a half. Four brackets have come off, the wire is sinking into my gum, giving me tooth and jaw pain. I can't eat and I'm spending excessive amounts of money on pain relief. The cause of all this? A cheese pasty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 280

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 714

You deserved it 4 272

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 950

You deserved it 8 896

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 102

You deserved it 9 389

Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 293

You deserved it 3 798

Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 453