Miscellaneous: Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be...

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 04:07 - United States

Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 421

You deserved it 54 851

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Same thing different taste

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 476

You deserved it 9 612

By fuckendog - 25/07/2014 06:05 - Australia - Virginia

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 228

You deserved it 55 788

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 198

You deserved it 8 411

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 64 142

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 288

By Mouhahaa - 09/05/2012 03:48 - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 655

You deserved it 36 372

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 989

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 124

By unknown - 21/09/2011 12:40 - Philippines

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 627

You deserved it 39 165

peete182 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 12:15

Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on

leftyy 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 14:13

then there would be nothing LEFT

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 22 October 2011 22:18

Yeah, meat slap. So manly.

maddylovesu 5

Saturday 22 October 2011 22:30

FOOD FIGHT!

CanuckPopcicle 2

Saturday 22 October 2011 22:59

What's the whole story tho? Stupid of OP to slap his gf with raw meat, especially if she was already holding the pot/frying pan with hot grease and threw the grease on him as a reflex. If gf purposely reached for the pan after being slapped, than yeah, not a healthy relationship.

alpha_kennyBody 3

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:07

first of all .. OP had this one coming. who the **** slaps someone with a porkchop? & just because his gf threw hot grease on him doesnt mean she's psycho. it could have been pure reflex.

kaykay20 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:08

You sure her throwing her arms up wasn't just a automatic reflex from getting hit? Really a bad time to try messing around and raw chicken..so unsanitary and disgusting.

GypsyRover 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 23:48

Go camping way out of town,then leave her there. This will give u time to get all of her belongings to the curb and change the locks.

EvilDave 13

Sunday 23 October 2011 0:25

3,300+ people think domestic violence is acceptable.

Clarice1 9

Sunday 23 October 2011 1:06

agreed. I'm not sure how serious you were in using the term "domestic violence", but I think it's legit. As a woman I have no problem saying that physically abusing a man is unacceptable.

Clarice1 9

Sunday 23 October 2011 1:01

Geez. OP, there are a lot of FMLs on here from guys who do gross and creepy things to their girlfriends and get upset when they retaliate, but you are *not* one of those. You in no way deserved to have hot grease thrown on you. That's ridiculous and scary. (I happen to be a vegan, so if someone hit me with a pork chop I would be really upset -- but if you both were cooking them and both planning to eat them you didn't really do anything wrong.)

crownlogic 25

Sunday 23 October 2011 3:20

I'm vegan too, and while I obviously never wish to be slapped with raw meat I don't think that people who eat it want to be slapped in the face with it either. The OP did do something wrong, but the problem is with the girlfriend's solution.

brianjman14 22

Sunday 23 October 2011 1:06

Larentiah, I hope you never have a boyfriend. Even a kick to the balls is no excuse for that. That shit hurts so bad! And it reduces chance of children.