Miscellaneous: Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat...

By ohhhgross - 26/10/2009 18:32 - Singapore

Today, while I was eating, my younger sister came over and sat beside me. She started clipping her toenails. Disgusted by it, I turned and opened my mouth to tell her to move somewhere else, just as one flew inside my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 5 341

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By argfarblewarblearble - 07/08/2015 13:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 897

You deserved it 2 331

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 66

Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 119

By Silent - 18/10/2018 17:30

Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 447

Tasty

By sleepysophie - 19/10/2013 15:04 - United States - Helena

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 617

You deserved it 5 565

Weird awakening

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 04:00

Today, I woke up to my sister sucking my toes because she was drunk, wanted to borrow one of my toe rings but couldn’t get it off, and thought spit would lubricate it off with her tongue. She doesn’t even live here, it’s my house. She used her spare key to get in at 1 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 119

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

By Anonymous - 14/04/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 425

You deserved it 4 891

By ginya - 07/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Bedford

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 1 083

By lizzard0416 - 30/11/2012 03:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 978

You deserved it 9 991

LadyKaya 0

Monday 26 October 2009 23:14

I hate when people find it appropriate to groom themselves next to where I'm eating...

Nakedsquirrel 5

Monday 26 October 2009 23:29

At least she wasn't shaving her pubes, right?

Comments

imperfectclarity 0

Monday 26 October 2009 23:51

Wow. I mean, your life is really f'ed. That's probably the worst thing that has happened to anybody! Ever!

fawfulster 11

Monday 26 October 2009 23:56

Hey idiot! This is "**** My Life", where people complain that their lifes ALREADY suck! If you want to see really ****** up stories go to mylifeisscrewed.com and quit being more of a bitch than the normal FML users.