By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 13:01 - United States

Spicy
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 140
You deserved it 11 222

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments

Lovleyreign 0

Lol I love how you ask him to stop acting like a child but your the one with the unicorn pillow pet. In my opinion he's more adult xD

zurisbloodyrose 0

THERE'S NOTHING WONG WITH PILLOW PETS. I mean, come on. it's a ******* pillow, then it's a pet. and both! You can sleep on your pet without it biting you or running away. Who doesn't want that?

Lovleyreign 0

Define "pet" and your age. Lol

Lovleyreign 0

Yeah, cause they totally can't lie about their age. Plus, I'm not going to go through the trouble to look up someone's age on fml. Come on now.

...And when you ask them about their age they're legally required to respond truthfully. Mature age is not defined by being boring and a life lacking in childish qualities.

Lovleyreign 0

Lmao, I don't think you know about people. They don't have to tell you ANYTHING about themselves. They aren't legally obliged to tell me, you or an FML profile that either. Maturity is also based on how you act as well. If you say one thing and do another, then it'd called being a hypocrite.

Lovleyreign 0

No one is legally obliged to tell you, me, what their age is. FML is not gonna go and look at your birth certificate. Neither is Facebook or any other social site. No one has to legally tell anyone anything, especially on here. Maturity is also based on how you act on yourself. If you say one thing and do another it's also called being a hypocrite.

Sarcasm just isn't for you is it? By the way, I've seen no evidence of hypocrisy. Acting childish is not the same as enjoying childrens things.

"maturity is base on how you act.." so what makes the person childish because they OWN a pillow pet again? I could go to a store right now and purchase a package of pampers to decorate my shelf. Does that make me a child, an infant, or immature? No. It makes me a strange ass woman with a weird taste in decoration. Owning something has nothing to do with a person's maturity. As said, it's how you act.

Lovleyreign 0

Apparently my definition of maturity is different. Whether your mature or not also means whether your childish or not. Shoot me if you don't agree with me. It's MY opinion. I can take sarcasm but I just don't feel like taking it from people like you. ^.^

People don't get shot for having an incorrect opinion, otherwise I doubt you'd have made it this far through your life.

Are you sure it wasn't his pillow pet? Cause then there's your problem.

You look like a vampire. Why do I feel like a necrophiliac?

You're asking him to stop acting like a child? You're the one with a pillow pet.. Intended for 6 year olds.

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

Bitch I'm 21 I love my pillow pet. We have tea parties everyday. Sure it makes buzz lightyear jealous, but does he turn into a pillow?

EPICROCKERNINJA 8

'An adult is a child at heart.'

skyttlz 32

I'm 17 and I'm gonna get a ladybug pillow pet

24 - I came on here to say the exact same thing

flockz 19

"i was born from the horn of a unicorn" that's what your unicorn son is going to say.

jackgoldstein 5

Everything you say is legen... Wait for it... Dary!

flockz 19

thanks broseph. when i first read your comment i saw " everything you say is vegan... wait for it.... and dairy!!" made me lol

220- everything you say is retar... Wait for it... Ded!

sacredeye73 11

Chill out. He was goofin around. Sometimes it's good to let the inner child out.

aus1095 4

Agreed I be playful with my gf but I don't take her pillow and hump her with it lol

KiddNYC1O 20

You would if it were a unicorn pillow.

The real question is, how does he know how children have sex?

tylermt1999 17

you can love them, hug them, and hump yhem its a pillow pet

chels1994 11

This is an FML? Sounds like someone needs to relax :)

Yeah, the bf is jus being alittle goofy but I think he did take it a little farther than he sould of..

RedPillSucks 31

Unicorn cum is what skittles are made of. Taste the rainbow.... Taste it!!!!

Awesome_Guy2468 0

It's a pillow, it's a pet, it's a love em hug em humpin pillow pet!!!! (also available the horned narwhal).....(if u know what I mean)...... lol...

Why? He is just being playful. This isnt remotely close to any reason for a break-up.

I feel bad for your future girlfriend. Or boyfriend. You are way too uptight for a 13 year old guy.

Where can one purchase a unicorn pillow pet?

shannonfeliz 0
ikickgingers 15

I bought mine at Toys R' Us. :/

jackeechan 10