Love: Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time,...

By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 621

You deserved it 6 743

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Same thing different taste

By dead man walking? - 04/10/2015 13:21 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad showed me his gun collection, and said the first rule of gun safety is never to point a gun at something you don't intend to kill. All while waving a handgun in my direction and glaring at me with barely suppressed rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 738

You deserved it 2 214

By thisisavirus.exe - 31/12/2013 20:57 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 208

You deserved it 5 549

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 848

You deserved it 356

By someone euthanize me - 16/01/2016 08:17

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 879

You deserved it 8 044

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 921

You deserved it 4 078

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 2 558

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 368

You deserved it 3 511

Thousand-yard stare

By timiscuous - 20/04/2020 20:00 - New Zealand

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 282

By Mr_poole - 18/05/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 873

You deserved it 5 356

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 April 2014 21:30

You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.

The_Big_Boss 20

Sunday 27 April 2014 21:31

That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime

Comments

hickeyboy42 11

Tuesday 29 April 2014 2:23

Keep your pickle in your pocket

TheSchwartz 3

Tuesday 29 April 2014 4:10

I think he made his point very clearly.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Tuesday 29 April 2014 4:58

Come on, it's the 21st century. Her dad didn't teach her to shoot?

kemando 22

Tuesday 29 April 2014 10:41

'Murica

Tannasgh 22

Tuesday 29 April 2014 19:26

Date a liberal girl...their dad's don't like guns :)

FMLL2016 16

Tuesday 29 April 2014 21:40

Father of the year

mclovin22897 15

Wednesday 30 April 2014 7:07

I suggest you keep it in your pant or her dad might use your willy for target practice.

L0VEBUG 6

Wednesday 30 April 2014 19:48

lol sounds like your just a pussy...

tab3113 1

Friday 2 May 2014 6:25

And you didn't ask for a shot yourself?

lina21 12

Friday 2 May 2014 8:54

This is why my dad doesn't get to meet anyone, and subsequently thought I was gay for a while

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 3 940

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 036

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, I was hosting my kid's birthday party. I had a bunch of small trinkets, so I grabbed the first container I could find to put them in. It wasn’t until I went out and someone yelled, "I’ll take a heavy flow!" that I realized it was an empty tampon box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 708

Today, I was working from home when I mistakenly turned on my video camera during a conference call. I was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt with a "Cannibal Corpse" album cover on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 743

Today, I am one year away from getting a university degree. Unfortunately, my parents just kicked me out because I wouldn't drop out and work for free at our family's gas station. I'm now broke, homeless, and have no way to pay for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 362

You deserved it 1 382

Today, I received a message telling me the guy I was seeing just wasn’t feeling the “vibe”. This would be fine, if he hadn’t given me the best sex, and the only sex I’ve enjoyed, in years and years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 207

Today, I spent 2 hours slaving over a hot stove to make my kids the perfect dinner. They both came home with Happy Meals in their hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 651

You deserved it 2 255

Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 095

You deserved it 41 408

Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

Thousand-yard stare

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