Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 281

You deserved it 5 630

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Same thing different taste

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 178

You deserved it 8 661

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 836

You deserved it 6 346

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 113

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 670

You deserved it 8 164

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 106

You deserved it 7 023

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 128

You deserved it 13 421

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 289

You deserved it 29 243

mahade 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 13:12

I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!

SlightlyGPirate 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 12:12

hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD

Comments

Ktfme 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 5:04

This makes me laugh really hard every time i think about someone doing this! That girl is so a keeper! Im totally gonna do that someday! =]

lahp 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 8:37

wow she sounds cool is she hawt? :O can i have her?

babyjay424 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 9:26

oh em gee I did this not so long ago and my bf got upset I'm just goofy I need a new man anyway don't complain she's awesome

Jonno8825 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 10:17

I loled hard I say next time she's giving you head, step back, yell 'BOOM HEADSHOT' and give her a facial :P

RammsteinFreak 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 23:54

Win.

fotc77 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 13:10

hilarious

faceplantation 2

Thursday 17 September 2009 13:37

lololololololololololololol so funny :)

arnold38 1

Thursday 17 September 2009 13:48

Maaan , you should really marry that girl!

mashnikandporter 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 14:02

Your gf is awesome! I wanna marry her!

ohcrapitskurt 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 15:18

wowwwwwwwwww

Quasar_fml 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 16:12

LOL sucks to be you , but what your girl friend did was genius.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 075

You deserved it 6 726

The Top

Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 802

You deserved it 3 740

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

Today, I'm in such pain due to my period cramps that I haven't been able to eat anything. My religious mother refuses to allow me to take birth control to help regulate the pain as it would "tempt" me to "become sexually active". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 257

You deserved it 489

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with once before my current boyfriend. The guy told me he has chlamydia, and I should probably get tested. I had to call my boyfriend to explain what happened and tell him to get tested. I'm meeting his family this weekend at his sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 619

Today, both my mom and dad agreed I basically ruined their life by existing. They weren’t even trying to be mean, they just casually mentioned that their lives were brilliant before me, then after I was born everything turned to shit and they’ve been miserable ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 123

Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 000

You deserved it 2 485