Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up... - FML

By loldick - 15/11/2009 18:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 934

You deserved it 23 799

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 128

You deserved it 23 509

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 9 764

Timing

By Anonymous - 18/03/2017 07:00 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 1 192

Romance

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 03:59 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went down on my girlfriend after sharing a romantic moment. As I was licking, she giggled and said, "You sound like a dog." Romance ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 892

You deserved it 4 664

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 424

You deserved it 762

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 08:45 - Canada - Richmond

Spicy

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 528

You deserved it 16 762

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 135

You deserved it 6 253

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595

You deserved it 5 731

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 436

You deserved it 7 540

Next

Top comments

pleura 0

Monday 16 November 2009 0:01

Shut up, at least you're getting head.

Thatk1ddd 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 23:13

That's just, awkward...

Comments

KingHumanity 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:42

And your life is ****** because your girlfriend feels sexy, likes giving you ********, and like how you taste? F___ you.

KingHumanity 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:53

*likes*

prizefight 0

Monday 16 November 2009 1:51

You got oral regardless so...shut the **** up.

ragsy 7

Monday 16 November 2009 2:06

Push her head down so she can't talk.

Spastro 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:13

what's wrong with that. she likes munching on some ...... that's hot.

ninjobliveus13 0

Monday 16 November 2009 3:19

Dude, that's pornolistuc! I wish I could have gotten my ex wife to say that! Not FYL. You should be tarred and feathered for suggesting a woman who swallows is anything but awesome. One that likes to no less. I just started hating you.

jcp012000 5

Monday 16 January 2012 2:19

Relax man. Apparently you get none at all!!

DenBriZel 31

Sunday 4 August 2013 10:22

How does him being divorced mean he doesn't get sex? There's other women out there!

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Monday 16 November 2009 3:48

thats what she said

weedking 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:06

Wow. Clearly NOT an FML. Douche.

riketbal 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:12

Where is the FML?

Erindub 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:23

You sir are insane!

perdix 29

Monday 16 November 2009 4:36

One "yummy" might be amusing, but five in a row is penile neglect. His dick probably got cold while she put on her little freak show. She needs to keep her head down and focus on the job at hand. After she swallows his load of ****, she can say or do whatever the hell she wants.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 422

You deserved it 55 330

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, I received a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 146

You deserved it 2 894

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 344

You deserved it 2 654

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 562

You deserved it 7 089

Today, after many months of physical therapy for my broken ankle and months of going to college with crutches, my doctor suddenly noticed that my bones hadn't grown together properly. I'm going to have to have another surgery and redo my entire year in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 170

You deserved it 160

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 958

You deserved it 9 505

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 028

You deserved it 6 445