Love: Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed...

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

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Same thing different taste

By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 631

You deserved it 44 312

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 916

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 289

You deserved it 30 212

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 627

You deserved it 74 789

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 304

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 895

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 7 111

elisabeth1_fml 0

Monday 24 October 2011 12:11

Anyone who says they haven't taken a call whilst on the loo is full of shit. Lmfao. Or maybe its just me

ChantelRenaeee 0

Monday 24 October 2011 12:07

Hahah oh well. If he's your boyfriend he should understand you need to use the bathroom.

Comments

30STMlove 0

Monday 24 October 2011 12:15

Poop on the phone? Or while on the phone?

saIty 17

Monday 24 October 2011 12:18

Agh, if only you played music while taking a number two, and tried to synchronize your poop dropping with it. Your boyfriend would have been so impressed.

Vegeto30294 19

Monday 24 October 2011 20:48

Then you would realize that you were listening to music on earphones

mariet_fml 23

Monday 24 October 2011 12:18

"Hun, I'm really sorry but I need to call you back in five minutes." Ta da!

cnkk07 8

Monday 24 October 2011 12:21

One more awkward moment to tell the future kiddies later on. :)

gntfmlingnow 12

Monday 24 October 2011 12:25

Both. At the same time.

MrSassypants 33

Monday 24 October 2011 12:28

This FML, including this pun, is shitty.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Monday 24 October 2011 12:37

I'll call BS on this one. Everyone knows girls don't fart, poo, or burp. You obviously just made it up so you didn't have to talk to him.

MrSassypants 33

Monday 24 October 2011 12:41

BS huh? Don't you mean GS as in girl shit? LOLOLOL (not that funny) If you did then your comment is very contradicting.

shenaniganry 3

Monday 24 October 2011 13:38

B-but BS doesn't stand for Boy Shit?

shenaniganry 3

Monday 24 October 2011 13:52

Jesus Christ, I finally got it. Sorry, man. BURY MY COMMENT FOREVER.

MrSassypants 33

Monday 24 October 2011 14:48

I know I was being stupid. It's my speciality. I know it means bullshit.... or am I so stupid I don't even know that know this that this **** shit that this. Huh?