Geek: Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status... - FML

By Baileyy - 01/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 181

You deserved it 41 253

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Same thing different taste

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 42 348

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 540

You deserved it 32 580

By kumbuck3t15 - 29/07/2012 20:20 - Mexico - Distrito Federal

Today, I decided I need to get a life. I reached this epiphany when I failed to take notice of my friend calling me, until he started calling out my Xbox gamertag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 531

You deserved it 25 902

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 729

By Anonymous - 27/03/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 763

You deserved it 56 390

By Anonymous - 16/01/2012 16:10 - United States

Today, I realized my self confidence is based on the amount of "likes" I have on my Facebook statuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 341

You deserved it 38 412

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 925

You deserved it 33 661

Not a laughing matter

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 09:31 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 231

You deserved it 4 959

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 427

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 307

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Wednesday 2 March 2011 1:01

Your NEXT awesome facebook status? Yeah, somehow I doubt that you ever actually had anything close to an awesome status. So, what did you make of it? "Chicken and peas for dinner today!!! lol,jk jk, it was actually chicken and carrots!!11!"

Jimminee 3

Wednesday 2 March 2011 0:56

sometimes it just comes to you.

Comments

leeshxx 3

Wednesday 2 March 2011 7:33

boners I actually agree with your comment for once!

GoingLesbian 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 7:41

Me too o_O Go Boners... lol. Nice belly Newfie!

pelivar 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 7:51

Cindy, is that you?

MrsFail 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 7:55

You said FML lol What life?

oarisimo 4

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:11

what a loser...

snewo 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:12

"Pensively thinking"? Man, that's sounds like some thoughtful thinking, i think.

dreamer1015 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:49

Lol

Zebidee 8

Wednesday 2 March 2011 9:23

They misspelled 'penisly thinking'.

dansco 24

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:23

Dansco Likes your status

jhjbnnj 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 12:02

Jhjbnnj likes this.

hanhen 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 8:39

OP, i would have to agree with u

GregoryStalver_fml 6

Wednesday 2 March 2011 11:40

So, why don't you put THAT as your facebook status?

underpaid011 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 11:54

your next facebook status update can be "getting a life"! win for you!!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 10 418

The Top

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 2 730

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 760

You deserved it 7 235

Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 461

You deserved it 297

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 993

You deserved it 6 350

Today, I was called stupid by a customer, after I supposedly got his order wrong. He then threw his ice cream cone on the floor, tracked it around the store, and left. While I was cleaning it up, he came back and tripped me right into the mop water, spilling it everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 136

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 642

You deserved it 8 063