Love: Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 644

You deserved it 36 738

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Same thing different taste

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

By bojangles - 28/02/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 47 994

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 14 911

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 680

You deserved it 3 476

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

By anxious spaghetti - 03/12/2017 15:00

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 739

You deserved it 460

By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 110

You deserved it 6 062

By chinousmc - 06/12/2012 11:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 3 422

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 536

You deserved it 1 599

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 971

You deserved it 3 693

Dodie__fml 2

Tuesday 20 September 2011 1:05

You just got burned

Skulll 13

Tuesday 20 September 2011 1:05

Don't play with lighters!

Comments

vanessa9208 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:42

two words. WAXING. ;) lol

ACM1991 9

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:49

Shave your mustache girl jeeZee

tatababe 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:20

He it a keeper :).

muhilrashid 4

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:37

You have a mustache ?

havocmike 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:41

So don't have a mustache.

jivveturkey 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:57

thats a burn about a burn! thats a second degree burn!

Leigh_Badd 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:32

Fight fire with fire!!

LockAndKey13 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:38

I mustache you a question but I'll shave it for later :)

bannedforlife 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 7:06

FFS, get rid of that shit. WTF.

SamanthaSaurus 13

Tuesday 20 September 2011 11:00

It would save you a lot of beautician money.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 192

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 116

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 399

You deserved it 3 729

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 154

Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 1 647

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "EW". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 851

You deserved it 4 633

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 851

You deserved it 3 143

Today, I got a call saying I was successful in my interview to be a pizza delivery driver. As I picked up my contract and got in my car, I reversed sideways into a pole and ripped off my front bumper. The manager came out and helped jam the bumper in so I could make it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 725

Same thing different taste

Close but no cigar

Sick burn

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