Miscellaneous: Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered... - FML

By anonymous - 03/01/2013 10:34 - United States - Canoga Park

Spicy

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 701

You deserved it 45 061

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Same thing different taste

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Spicy

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 157

You deserved it 5 928

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 1 849

Big deal

By Like mother like daughter - 24/02/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Spicy

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 780

You deserved it 9 608

By bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 87 027

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 401

You deserved it 4 268

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 155

Think before you speak

By Takuma - 20/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 578

You deserved it 95 203

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 00:57 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 2 638

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 05:54 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 347

You deserved it 11 267

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 444

Next

Top comments

TheOneTC 8

Thursday 3 January 2013 16:07

They're basically the same

shireman97 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 16:07

Aren't you a quick thinker

Comments

bigwiensch 15

Thursday 3 January 2013 17:11

smooth move, ex-lax

supportcommand 17

Friday 4 January 2013 0:34

I thumbed you down. That comment died back in the 80's.

duckiegirl21 10

Thursday 3 January 2013 17:20

My mind always drifts back to the movie Teeth when hearing tooth and ****** in any conversation regardless of context.

Kittycorn 17

Thursday 3 January 2013 17:43

Sounds exactly like something I would do.

man_in_black08 28

Thursday 3 January 2013 17:57

Californication eh

adameeo 21

Thursday 3 January 2013 18:03

Sometimes its better to just smile and nod :)

miura_fml 17

Thursday 3 January 2013 18:07

I'm sorry, but this is hilarious.

dcats 13

Thursday 3 January 2013 18:10

Way to keep up the conversation OP!

Ozxkar 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 18:28

Wow!!!!

maggySNP 12

Thursday 3 January 2013 19:15

Depends on how old you are to how funny this could actually be!

insaneDONUTZ 15

Thursday 3 January 2013 19:24

what a terrible thing to say!

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The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, out of the kindness of my heart, and so he wouldn't have to spend any money, I gave my ex-boyfriend my login information to my Vudu account. Big mistake. He logged me out of all devices, changed the password, and won't give me the new login information until I give him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 696

The Top

Today, I thought I had the house all to myself for the weekend, but my annoying in-laws showed up unannounced and ruined my sleep-all-day plans by asking me to help clean out their RV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 167

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 8 987

Today, it was Mother’s Day. My mom died when I was young, so I deleted all of my social media, to avoiding seeing all my friends hanging out with their aging, but healthy, loving mothers. Then my dad decided to remind me what day it was and to wish my abusive stepmom a happy Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 135

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 976

You deserved it 23 677

Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 4 305

Today, at 28 years-old, I broke the first ever bone in my body. I broke a metacarpal in my hand by going down an inflatable waterside at a children's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 163