Miscellaneous: Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered... - FML

By anonymous - 03/01/2013 10:34 - United States - Canoga Park

Spicy

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 701

You deserved it 45 061

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By LoveMyNewBro - 04/01/2011 10:56

Spicy

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 157

You deserved it 5 928

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 1 849

Big deal

By Like mother like daughter - 24/02/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Spicy

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 780

You deserved it 9 608

By bubbalicious - 13/08/2009 20:57 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 87 027

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 401

You deserved it 4 268

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Spicy

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 155

Think before you speak

By Takuma - 20/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 578

You deserved it 95 203

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 00:57 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 2 638

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 05:54 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 347

You deserved it 11 267

New Romantics

By sallyfradoodle - 13/03/2020 21:00

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 444

Next

Top comments

TheOneTC 8

Thursday 3 January 2013 16:07

They're basically the same

shireman97 6

Thursday 3 January 2013 16:07

Aren't you a quick thinker

Comments

kobelstone23 13

Friday 4 January 2013 7:07

How nostalgic, the house has seen so many first:)

barronterrier 3

Friday 4 January 2013 7:29

You're stupid and a ****! Your parents must be very proud...

Prettybaux 6

Friday 4 January 2013 17:26

Appearrently not

soldiat_fml 17

Friday 4 January 2013 22:45

You sound like a total spazz, OP...

Raykyogrou03 12

Tuesday 8 January 2013 9:14

Sounds like a joke from an American Pie movie!

icepick23 12

Tuesday 8 January 2013 21:33

He will be masturbating for the next week!

fish_ster 5

Sunday 29 September 2013 6:29

good one jack

Mabonga 12

Monday 2 December 2013 9:40

he may still find his tooth

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 156

Today, my brother-in-law is a complete toxic asshole who makes me have panic attacks. He nitpicks my house non-stop and always puts me down. I'm a normal, good person, but all I want now is for him to suffer greatly in life for all the horrible things he has said to me and about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 312

You deserved it 504

Today, after moving back in with my parents, I found out they had held on to a chunk of mail still being sent during the time I had been changing my old address. Included was a summons to jury duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 839

You deserved it 1 435

Today, it's been two years since my husband promised improvements if I stayed. He abided and we're good, despite a counselor insisting it was mere narcissistic manipulation, without ever meeting him. Did I mention she also claimed it would be "empowering" for me to leave, and set "a good example" on our kids? FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 203

Today, I walked into my barbershop and told the owner to, “Give me the Jamie Lannister” (from Game of Thrones). The barbershop was silent, except for one loud laugh. Coming from my ex. She'd followed me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 584

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 264

You deserved it 8 835

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 532

You deserved it 5 986