Roommate and Miscellaneous: Together forever

Together forever

By Will - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 262

You deserved it 5 164

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Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell

By HGTV - 01/10/2013 18:43 - United States - Boston

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 871

You deserved it 4 116

Freeze peach

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 22:30

Today, my kids decided to draw on the walls with permanent marker, and now my house looks like a modern art exhibit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 272

By maturity - 08/04/2013 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 64 257

By rbates - 25/07/2009 18:32 - United States

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 790

You deserved it 60 433

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 4 731

By Stormbringer - 01/02/2011 06:37

Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 457

You deserved it 4 119

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 360

You deserved it 3 449

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 547

By dumbass1991 - 12/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 137

You deserved it 121 831

Goodbye

By thedancer5 - 03/08/2011 16:47 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing a breakup note with permanent marker on my newly painted bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 855

You deserved it 3 388

enough4 0

Tuesday 15 December 2009 13:28

"Today I encountered an easily fixable problem that I was too stupid to look up on Google. FML"

aback 4

Tuesday 15 December 2009 12:59

Draw one on his forehead while he's asleep.

Comments

_Niccc_13 0

Friday 18 December 2009 16:24

ah, life. ^.-

samich_rocks101 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 15:58

finger nail polish remover getts it off really well

xxcheeseizlifexx 1

Saturday 26 December 2009 3:28

thats actually kinda sweet and funny lighten up dbag

blue_angel 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 4:54

Um, there's no way you're allowed to keep that up for a year and a half. You had better tell your landlord or the school (depending on if you live in an apartment or dorm) about this so you aren't stuck with the bill.

abcdefghijklmnop_fml_fml 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 20:40

OK TRUST ME I GET PERMANENT MARKER EVERYWHERE!!!!US EXPO AND TRACE OVER IT THEN WIPE IT OFF!!!! I PROMISE IT WILL WORK

GodOfBeer 5

Thursday 7 January 2010 20:41

OK TRUST ME I HAVE A KEYBOARD, YOU HIT YOUR DAMN CAPSLOCK :D :D

afarr 0

Monday 25 January 2010 2:37

alcohol dude.

Courtyen 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 12:31

Okay, I agree with every single comment here that says how to get it off, but I don't understand why everyone here seems to need to repeat what the first twenty people said. There are 116 comments here, and 100 of them are pointless repeats. Sure, put your opinion in if you want, but only if it isn't there already!