Too late

By lynxstorm - 17/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 409
You deserved it 11 712
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Top comments

kakek_fml 0

He was ready to commit, and you didn't managed to clear things up before dumping him ? Well, you must have messed up the dumping pretty bad to not even give him a hint or a chance to tell you directly he was ready to commit.

144 5
NathanKett 0

ydi for not having sausage rolls for lunch last Tuesday.

62 8

Comments

Jewelofagal 2

Why? So he can continue to act like a cold fish? That's who he is and one letter doesn't change that.

1 2
lifesize_barbie 0

a lot of ppl have trouble opening up... i agree that no one should propose in a letter (lol what a dumbass), but maybe he has issues about being so open about his feelings. if thats the case, writing a letter isnt something to bash. i think it should actually be suggested. if you want him back so bad OP, call him :)

2 1
Unsaturatedfatty 0

If he didn't say anything about it when you broke up with him, then you are so much better off without him. I think that you only consider this an FML because you are grasping at straws. You would probably call him laid back and quiet… or passive and unable to express himself. However you want to look at it. You've been wishing he would show a sign of being the man you wish he would be, and he did, but too late. You should leave it like that. If he didn't come up with the couarge to tell you how he felt even as he was moving out, he will not be the kind of life partner you want. Even if he seems to be everything else you want. This is kind of the big one. There are more people out there. If he hasn't changed by now, after an incident like this, he never will. Don't settle.

1 2
Jewelofagal 2

Yes, a lot of people have trouble being open about their feelings. The OP wants someone who doesn't have an issue with communicating his feelings. One letter in a "last ditch" situation doesn't change that he's more "buttoned up" and isn't comfortable being open about how he feels on a regular basis. To take him back now just means she's agreeing to more of the same behavior that caused her to break off the relationship originally.

0 2
Telcontar14 0

Did you tell him *anything* before breaking it off? Did you even tell him you had concerns? I can't imagine how you could have broken up with him without giving him a chance to explain that he did want to commit. YDI

1 1
Rota 0

Nice job driving him away you self centered bitch. Women are so caught up in commitment that they can look past all the good things going for them and **** it all up.

2 1
Intoxicunt 5

"Self centered"? If she plans to marry, have (more) kids, etc., then that is her right. And if he has no apparent interest in that life, then they are on two different paths and are wasting each other's time. If neither of them wants to compromise, what's the point in staying together when the time could be spent looking for someone who wants the same thing out of life? She's not ******* self-centered to want a guy to commit. STFU.

1 1
Improbability 0

Intoxicunt- You're making it sound like just because he has a hard time talking about his feelings means he doesn't want kids or a stable married life. The issues is this "apparent interest" topic. If he truly loved her, he was probably showing it in other ways. Then it's just a matter of insecurities. If you have to have them saying it and talking about it in order to believe it and feel it, then getting out is a good idea. But of course that is self centered. And wanting a guy to commit is self-centered. But relationships should be. If you aren't in it to make yourself happy, to get something out of it, then why be in it? But you certainly aren't going to find happiness by finding fault, and then not communicating or working on it. That's not being self-centered, that's being something else....

1 0
Intoxicunt 5

You make good points. I kind of assumed he wasn't just bottling stuff up, but was blatantly like "Nah, I don't think I want this to get any more serious." In which case, there is an impasse and it's a dead-end relationship (unless one of them can change their mind). But you could very well be right, that she was requiring some very specific display of love or something, while he's busting his ass showing his feelings in some other way.

1 0
Seventytimeseven 0

I agree that the bitch deserved it but seriously some people that you "love dearly" do need to have their ass kicked to he curb so I don't believe that she deserved it for dumping him while still in love with him but just essentially for being such a psychopathic freak that she couldn't tell him why he was being kicked out and dumped even though she loved him

0 0
keilah 4

Though it's not the case here, people can be (and usually are) in love with their abusive partners. So you think they shouldn't break up with them? Meanwhile half the rest of humanity blames them for not leaving at the first hint of bad behaviour. Loving someone doesn't make them perfect, sorry to say.

0 0
Improbability 0

I'm getting really annoyed at the frequency of postings that are basically, "F my life because I failed to communicate and/or had unreasonable expectations." Why are there so many women who seem to think they shouldn't have to talk it out, that the man should just know? My husband is also not great with handling his emotions, but we still talk about everything. When our one year anniversary was coming up we discussed to what degree we should celebrate it. If we should buy presents or just go to dinner, how much to spend, etc. If I ever had a problem with an aspect of our relationship, we discussed it. Why is that so hard? Why does it always become some game? In the OP's defense though, I'm guessing/hoping there were other reasons for the break up. This was just the convenient/most obvious problem. I have to thank FML for showing me aspects of human nature I had previously not understood completely. My god there are a lot of stupid people when it comes to relationships. Speaking of which..."Telling me he wanted to marry me" is not the same as proposing! You can talk about marriage and discuss thoughts on the future without actually proposing.

1 1
Jewelofagal 2

What makes you think she never spoke with him about his inability to express his feelings and his unwillingness to commit prior to breaking it off? And, it seems to me, that these two issues provide plenty of justification to break up -- why does there have to be more? I agree with you that it's not hard to communicate and work out issues.....unless the person is with the wrong partner, then it can be torturous.

1 1
Improbability 0

I'm sorry, you are definitely right that I'm making the assumption that if she had brought it up as she was breaking up with him, he would have defended himself. I realize that could be a bad assumption. If she brought it up earlier, I'm guessing the letter was the response, which then does make it suck more for her that she didn't find it sooner. And yes I agree that if you've talked it out, and you know that working on it further is torture, it's perfectly okay to let that one go...

1 0
jillz 0

Everytime you attempt to have a romance or move a boyfriend in, you drag your kids through that. They should come first. I hope you didn't blame this on them for hiding that letter, when your ex is at fault for being a coward. I hope the kids didn't have to get yelled at because of Mommy's relationship drama. You are Mommy first, anything else second.

0 1
Unsaturatedfatty 0

Actually, woman first, mommy second. Having children doesn't take away the fact that she is still a person in her own right. A person has to take care of themselves in order to take care of other people. Having a happy and good relationship means being more able to take care of her children. I would hope she doesn't take this out on her kids, because of course they don't deserve that. But as to moving in with someone, any responsible woman wouldn't put a child through one guy after another after another. Which is what it sould seem she was trying to avoid.

2 0
Imranaziz 0

cmon guys. this stupid bitch deserved it

1 3
Subjectzero 0

dumbass deserves it for not, you know, making sure that you GOT the letter.

0 1