Love, School, Relatable and Parents: Truth bomb - FML

Truth bomb

By cdaniel2 - 12/02/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 284

You deserved it 4 643

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Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 2 935

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 191

You deserved it 4 023

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 12:27 - United States - New York

Today, my drunk dad told me I'm smart enough that any guy could overlook the fact that I'm fat, but not smart enough that they could overlook how ugly I am. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 528

You deserved it 1 875

By what even - 14/05/2015 22:17 - United States - Athens

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 631

You deserved it 4 854

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 2 393

By WayToGoDaddyHo - 08/07/2015 06:17 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 986

You deserved it 1 842

By adalia - 19/07/2009 17:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 229

You deserved it 4 950

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 12:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I told my Dad I was an alcoholic and had decided to seek help. His reply, "Don't stop drinking, you are the life of the party, funny and beautiful when you drink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 365

You deserved it 3 523

By Noname - 13/03/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 900

You deserved it 30 106

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 746

You deserved it 3 421

Next

Top comments

Blre 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 22:36

I wouldn't say they'd date anything...more like they'd f**k anything.

suyci 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 19:42

yep, thats how we men are, blunt and realistic :P

Comments

emsiti 6

Wednesday 15 June 2011 4:56

what the f**k men are what dont judge all men calling the stupid, howwould you like me to say all woman are naggy bitches?

nach0Libre 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 20:05

ur dad is a boss

Ha1r1nY0S0up 15

Sunday 4 December 2011 5:07

It would be wrong to call all women naggy bitches when it's mainly just #20

tsent8 15

Monday 8 October 2012 3:28

Tell me more wise one

DumbledoreDies1 11

Wednesday 25 November 2015 4:53

More like **** anything

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Am I overreacting? Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 70

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 969

You deserved it 10 341

Today, I had a Zoom job interview. My roommate grabbed me, duct-taped my mouth, and hogtied me. I watched helplessly as he took the call with my potential employer, insulted her, and said, “Fuck this job.” All because I “hit on his girlfriend” at a BBQ yesterday, by asking her if she wanted another hot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 156

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 954

You deserved it 11 235

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 962

You deserved it 4 222

Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 395

Today, my son was so hungover at his wedding that he fell asleep standing at the altar and fell over onto his pregnant wife, knocking her backwards onto the floor. What should have been a happy occasion turned into a farce as we rushed her to hospital to check the baby was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 124