Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 041
You deserved it 4 253
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

osm1989_fml 6

He's the ****** Whisperer.

817 8

Comments

CrazyManNo9 29

Most woman need to teach their guy. Most guys are idiots but don't mean to be. First time I gave a girl an ******, she looked at me and asked me "How did you do that?" LMAO. Give him the benefit of the doubt and show him. You will be rewarded for it.

91 10
G3K0 7

I get that all the time from my girl.. She calls me her "godly pornstar" (:

0 9
zfchatroulette 24

lol i knew a guy like that. but what i didnt know was that he had a gf. oops

0 5
davymac718 4

I would return the favor in the same exact way and see how he responds. Some people need to learn the hard way.

44 1
zingline89 18

Trust me, if she grabs his dick, it'll get longer.

119 2
KaiserSD 8

Or we could all take a cue from Stephen King, rub our fingers on our partners cheeks, and say "Thinner". American obesity solved with magic!!!

19 2
madipoo_LOVE23 0

Ahaha. Killed me.. xP

0 8
Enslaved 36

Turn the the lights off and get a laser pointer!

54 4
spaboolly 26

The mental image of that comment was both incredibly disturbing and painfully hilarious.

18 7
perdix 29

At least you won't get uncontrollable hiccups :D

113 20
Chosen_peas 2

Folks who are insistent on thumbing Perdix down- please read past fmls.

6 42
Myo_fml 20

Past FML popularity does not automatically make users immune. If a comment is bad, it's bad.

31 4
spazz666 18

Well, first you need to be a famous(or infamous) FML commenter, then just pull down your pants! Your ass will be like a magnet! Seriously though, I think it's hilarious when people thumb down witty comments just because they didn't understand them. Perdix's comment isn't thumbed down though, so it's irrelevant.

9 4
yoursucklives 36

23 it's schadenfreude, not schaudenfreude.

3 2
AKGirlinSD 20

Perdix has dark, sarcastic humor. And I love it. I'm usually one of them upping his comments while he's getting negative votes. His comments are just as entertaining to me as the FMLs are.

3 1
CinnamonBunny 16

23 isn't kissing ass, he's just unnecessarily pointing out the origins of Perdix's comment.

3 4
kickass1stbase 7

Don't expect him to know, maybe you are the first girl he has been with. Just teach him what you like and you'll be rewarded

10 1
KiddNYC1O 20

Not according to #15's comment. =P

0 4
ndnpride88 25

Find a real man that can do it the right way the first time and you'll cum multiple times

1 36
Angelrose2004 17

Or she can stay with him and teach him what pleases her. There is more to relationships than just sex, imo.

25 0