Unhappy Birthday

By ER Birthday - 19/09/2019 14:00

Today, I got home from the hospital. Yesterday was my birthday, and I got a piece of steak caught in my lower esophagus, resulting in a trip to the ER and an overnight stay so they could put me under and fish it out. I’m not allowed meat for a month while they find out what caused it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 204

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Weirdo - 06/12/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 966

You deserved it 4 831

By LeoCor - 27/08/2018 20:30

Today, and for the past 2 weeks, I've had a massive pain in my throat. It went down for a while with antibiotics, but when it came back I had to go to the hospital for an emergency surgery. There was a 3 cm abscess growing in my throat. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 110

You deserved it 125

By dammitRandy - 19/06/2016 17:18 - United States - Kearny

Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 052

You deserved it 1 117

By anon - 26/07/2010 04:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 109

You deserved it 3 235

By Madison Gliosci - 16/08/2018 14:30

Today, I’m spending my 21st birthday in the hospital getting a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 125

You deserved it 7 550

Hangry time

By Anonymous - 21/04/2011 18:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 9 717

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 23:51 - United States

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 4 783

Heimlich

By Macdaddy - 05/12/2008 12:49 - France

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 032

You deserved it 3 482

By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 710

You deserved it 36 527

evilplatypus 38

Thursday 19 September 2019 15:04

Ok, vegans and vegetarians annoy the hell out of me, but if you can’t refrain from meat for ONE MONTH, you might gave a problem.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 19 September 2019 19:29

What kind of morons are you dealing with? You need to cut your meat into smaller pieces and chew it a little bit. Case closed...next!!!

Comments

evilplatypus 38

Thursday 19 September 2019 15:04

Ok, vegans and vegetarians annoy the hell out of me, but if you can’t refrain from meat for ONE MONTH, you might gave a problem.

Mathalamus 24

Friday 20 September 2019 5:36

You do realize it's a substantial change in diet?

raven_of_azarath 34

Friday 20 September 2019 6:01

If it’s so easy, then you do it.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 19 September 2019 19:27

Looks like you got the gift of vegetarianism! Hope you got the gift receipt because I'd take that shit back right away!

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 19 September 2019 19:29

What kind of morons are you dealing with? You need to cut your meat into smaller pieces and chew it a little bit. Case closed...next!!!

guiltyschuldig49 12

Friday 20 September 2019 7:00

They said an allergic reaction possibly to meat caused my esophagus to swell and that’s why it got stuck. Cutting into smaller pieces won’t prevent that from happening again.

guiltyschuldig49 12

Friday 20 September 2019 6:58

OP here! I should probably clarify that they said I had an allergic reaction to a meat that caused my esophagus to swell and that’s why the steak got stuck. Can’t eat meat while they figure out which one it was. Which sucks as I’m a seafood lover.