Health, Awkward, Wanker and Intimacy: Wanking to death

Wanking to death

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 00:17 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 752

You deserved it 12 427

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Same thing different taste

Breathtaking

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 02:45 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I had an amazing orgasm. So great that the shortness of breath triggered an extreme asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 598

You deserved it 5 563

I'm coming !

By ally - 03/02/2009 19:34 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 238

You deserved it 8 525

Anticlimax

By feminista - 28/07/2012 20:38 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 3 421

By JRLJLS - 15/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 948

You deserved it 11 522

Weak

By Heavybreather - 13/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Athens

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 871

You deserved it 1 129

Some people are into that sort of thing

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 03:00 - France - Paris

Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 268

By RyanM - 13/02/2011 09:01 - Canada

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 987

You deserved it 64 714

By pikachu_43 - 21/03/2015 15:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, because I thought I was about to have an asthma attack, I had a panic attack. Then, the panic attack caused me to have a real asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 656

You deserved it 4 209

By Noname - 10/03/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 065

You deserved it 61 331

Sensual moment

By Ekh0es - 11/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Garfield

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 2 501

NotMyDay5 13

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:30

At least someone Came... For help

mpsteve137 15

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:27

What a sight that must of been for whoever came to your rescue.

Comments

JD1147 27

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:41

What a wanker... *boom-tish*

finniewinnie 6

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:42

How do you 'rub one off'? Males please explain

Pesticides 19

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:46

Rub as in caress the penile shaft and head with hand...male masturbation.

Crazc 15

Saturday 30 November 2013 6:45

u can like rub the tip

perdix 29

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:42

Did your rescuer bring an inhaler or a heavily-lotioned right hand? Asthma is uncomfortable, but the DSBs are, as the name states, deadly.

Lafayo 9

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:46

hope you're better in bed, or you're in trouble xD

RedPillSucks 31

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:53

so, did someone have to help you finish?

olpally 32

Saturday 30 November 2013 6:00

No Giggity here! Hahahaha.

zandalee 19

Saturday 30 November 2013 6:08

This is why I get asthma in the shower. We find it gets a wee bit too steamy at times...

Marie314 17

Saturday 30 November 2013 6:10

Can't help but wonder who came to help you

ashtic 20

Saturday 30 November 2013 7:09

All this while listening to Weezer...?

DireVelociraptor 6

Saturday 30 November 2013 7:30

Dude, how do you ********** in the shower? I can only do it if I'm dressed like the ultimate warrior....

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 84

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 6 630

The Top

Today, I dropped a butcher's knife on my knuckle. Five stitches later, I can't even wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 787

You deserved it 925

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 337

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 302

You deserved it 4 498

Today, I had my first astounding orgasm during which I simultaneously shit myself and vomited. So thankful my new partner was present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 321

You deserved it 645

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 422

You deserved it 2 845

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 496

You deserved it 6 098