Miscellaneous: Well played

Well played

By Deadpool434 - 19/10/2014 19:27 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times' sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent." I got pranked by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 623

You deserved it 8 700

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 02:47 - United States - Killington

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 509

You deserved it 4 501

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 04:19 - United States - La Crosse

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 621

You deserved it 3 940

By idefka - 08/04/2017 02:00

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 1 861

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 06:07 - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 521

You deserved it 4 589

By Cottagecheeseha - 20/08/2012 04:03 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 668

You deserved it 6 785

By Anonymous - 08/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Long Beach

Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 791

You deserved it 62 314

By Emptyspace - 25/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 624

You deserved it 4 187

By Talkingbeforethinking - 16/03/2019 18:00

Today in class I accidentally called my teacher very old and almost dead. As we were discussing a book I said that the book character is very old and close to death since it fitted to the context. Turns out this character is one year younger than my teacher and she wasn't amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 631

By stickers - 13/05/2009 20:15 - United States

Today, I was going through my mom's closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 592

You deserved it 4 268

By thebiteof87 - 22/07/2015 06:32 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 776

You deserved it 26 940

garrett_8614 14

Monday 20 October 2014 8:56

You: 0 You: 1 wait a minute.....

Marie54321 19

Monday 20 October 2014 9:02

You win some and you lose some, but you my friend, did both.

Comments

inolongercare 19

Monday 20 October 2014 20:22

That is actually awesome. Not a "Fml" story

pussycat19 4

Monday 20 October 2014 20:54

Hilarious! Kid you was a ball buster! lmao!

BasedComment 15

Monday 20 October 2014 23:48

Lul

NellieeNell 18

Tuesday 21 October 2014 5:16

You're awesome!

Sugar_ray17 3

Tuesday 21 October 2014 7:54

i dont get it, someone care to explain it? whats so funny about get bent?

mister_icicle 17

Tuesday 21 October 2014 14:44

Excellent work! Makes me want to go prank the public library. :-D

Pyrithium 8

Friday 24 October 2014 4:58

That's... pretty awesome

Nancylb 3

Sunday 26 October 2014 6:31

What does "get bent" mean? I don't understand ;.(

mistress_paz 30

Saturday 6 December 2014 19:37

That's kind of cute.

Passerbyer 10

Friday 26 December 2014 6:07

Pure awesomeness; sounds like an interesting kid to me.

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 145

You deserved it 6 978

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 514

The Top

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 902

You deserved it 2 829

Today, because I left my wallet at home, I got arrested for "underage smoking." I'm 32 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 750

You deserved it 691

Today, my boyfriend said to me, in front of his friends, “Can you stop breaking out into song all the time? It’s getting really annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 852

Today, my boss created a WhatsApp group called "Forever Alone", added me and only me, and then left so that I could be the only person in the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 243

You deserved it 288

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 615

You deserved it 2 131

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 527

You deserved it 6 059

Well played

Same thing different taste

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