Stalker and Miscellaneous: WHO ARE YOU?

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 2 892

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Same thing different taste

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 436

You deserved it 4 496

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 403

You deserved it 2 849

By paranoid neighborhood - 27/11/2013 17:51 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 4 227

Which side are you on?

By thefuckman - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 955

You deserved it 1 718

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 625

You deserved it 3 772

Guilty

By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 926

You deserved it 3 338

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 861

You deserved it 3 408

Cliché for real

By fuckinghicks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 330

You deserved it 17 719

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 862

You deserved it 30 066

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 9 996

Srs_business 7

Friday 9 November 2012 8:51

He's a damn good ninja then.

Demonfish 14

Friday 9 November 2012 8:52

Of course the police can't find him; he's a ninja!

Comments

hellproof023 6

Friday 9 November 2012 9:07

Ninja man ninja man. Does whatever ninja man does.

xrainbowshadowx 17

Friday 9 November 2012 9:09

Do you actually believe that the cops are going to find a ninja? It's a ninja, and one does not simple catch a ninja.

perdix 29

Friday 9 November 2012 9:12

Everybody was Kung Fu Pointing! Or Every day this month? This sounds like a . . . Tradition It helps you keep your balance like a . . . a . . . like a Ninja on the Roof!

Mr25_fml 14

Friday 9 November 2012 9:13

There is only one person you can go to in order to catch the ninja... Jackie Chan. Put Jackie and the ninja in a room full of furniture, see what happens

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Friday 9 November 2012 9:56

You can't really see what ninja's do. Too swift and sneaky. It is a ninja, after all!

spazz666 18

Friday 9 November 2012 13:24

I'm starting to think you're a moron. Even if they're moving and you can't see them, you'd see the furniture move around when they throw it at each other. Please use your brain before you make a stupid comment.