Love and Kids: Wide words

Wide words

By julia - 11/06/2011 11:12 - United States

Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 092

You deserved it 7 822

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Same thing different taste

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 035

You deserved it 4 181

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 15:36 - United States - Mckinney

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 949

You deserved it 1 975

By Noname - 03/02/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 7 802

By Anonymous - 10/06/2009 13:12 - United States

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 232

You deserved it 7 301

By daycare worker - 23/12/2016 18:41 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 771

You deserved it 1 748

By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 166

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 00:01

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 246

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 643

You deserved it 24 788

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 835

You deserved it 6 587

Beautiful sentiment

By emily geo - 03/02/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is twelve and doesn’t have a single friend, despite being kind and sweet. When I asked her why, she said, “All the other kids want me to die.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 94

franticravyn 7

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

that's cute in a way…

Coon123 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 15:50

mature 5 year old

Comments

laliique_31 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:01

i wish i thought about that when i was 5 years old!

omgwtftoni 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:06

or she could just be a lesbian

lilclare 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:06

is this the daughter who went up to the boy at the swing cause if it is she's a freaking genius.

poorjudgement 26

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:10

lol same thing crossed my mind

xCajunGurlx 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:06

this is not an fml

TheJashinist 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:08

That's adorable, she's wise. :P

hottottie 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:09

aww I wanna be a nun. lol

lizabeth131 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:13

that's a smart girl

abasio 1

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:13

FYL for thinking this is an FML.

Crazy4Christ 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:18

aaha! I love Ur profile pic!

sarcastic_life 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:16

oooh how cute :) she is a smart girl. hope none breaks her heart.

xrudeboyrock 29

Saturday 11 June 2011 17:23

Where's the life-effing? That's so sweet!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 10 418

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 933

You deserved it 5 095

The Top

Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple smirnoff, I puked up the Chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 273

You deserved it 8 112

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 200

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 823

You deserved it 76 629

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 311

You deserved it 2 764

Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 442

You deserved it 4 088

Today, after my husband told me he doesn't enjoy having sex unless he initiates it, my mother-in-law barged into my bedroom only to find me pleasing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 210

Wide words

Same thing different taste

Beautiful sentiment

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