Work and Poopoo peepee: Yummy

Yummy

By Massasam - 11/10/2011 20:53 - United States

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 764

You deserved it 41 985

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Same thing different taste

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 862

You deserved it 11 396

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 365

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 7 313

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 403

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 335

By gmian - 06/12/2015 05:06 - United States - Amherst

Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 381

You deserved it 11 013

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 693

You deserved it 403

By pissed - 10/05/2015 14:34 - United States - Dearborn

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 843

You deserved it 8 037

By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 13:45 - Maldives

Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 297

You deserved it 1 073

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 964

HuntrTrakr 4

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:29

I'd be pissed!

harrywestt 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 0:30

Ok first of why the hell would u even want to eat while taking a leak? Just saying kinda stupid.

Comments

Poetaster 10

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:08

Your a moron and a failure at fml's...

thethatoneguy_21 4

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:15

Hahaha, dude did you miss the part where it was explained that one of the laws of the world was that guys can't multitask?

iljakujala 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:35

lool epic fail(:

Kenneth08 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:38

i have a story close to this but it was a cigg not a candy bar and it didnt fall in the toilet :(

ThunderCat_09 5

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:51

It just don't seem worth it now huh lol YDI

Poetaster 10

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:58

Moderated??? Lol!! Get a grip

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:00

Just how many seconds could u have possibly saved from eating a "breakfast bar" while also taking piss??...was it worth it

ukrage 1

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:22

If you wanted can't for breakfast you shoulda had reeses puffs

Matty1188 6

Wednesday 12 October 2011 10:06

Because a candy bar will get you through the morning. Next time, try an energy bar or something and eat it during your commute.

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:33

Energy bars ARE candy bars. Read the sugar content on the label.

Jjhmomma 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 11:46

Breakfast CANDY bar????..... You deserved it....

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 42 709

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 583

You deserved it 11 608

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 778

You deserved it 3 721

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 603

You deserved it 34 417

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 937

You deserved it 15 971

Today, back in 2018, I had money and a six pack; in 2019 I couldn’t walk and had to have a back surgery; in 2020 I lost over $650,000 and gained over 40 pounds. Now, in 2021 I'm surviving and stress-eating trying not to lose everything I worked for. Fuck, I miss being a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 277

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 348

You deserved it 78 700

Yummy

Same thing different taste

*buys case of Listerine*

Sneaky

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Comments

buys case of Listerine