The Top

Hey this is the Op.. So many great comments haha. I completely regret confirming it, it was like I walked into a trap. I'm going to talk to my head boss though because it's kind of ridiculous

The proposal

By Brasilian29 - 11/12/2014 12:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of two years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready, and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back, and said, "Bitches, man." I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 787

You deserved it 3 387

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 00:34 - United States - Columbus

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 548

You deserved it 4 925

Surprise!

By Wow - 04/09/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 419

You deserved it 3 346

By mandy_2480 - 19/02/2012 02:08 - China

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 226

You deserved it 4 942

By PurpleSloth - 15/02/2013 13:57 - United States - Tracy

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 907

You deserved it 16 082

By oh ffs - 25/01/2013 01:13 - United States

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 4 018

By Stumble - 17/01/2010 04:43 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 339

You deserved it 27 674

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 752

Rude

By -_- - 22/09/2013 18:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 391

You deserved it 6 123

By girlfromnowhere - 23/02/2016 11:06 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my boss asked me to work over the entire weekend. That would be fine if I didn't already work a 60 hour week. He also said the extra hours on the weekend wouldn't be paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 734

You deserved it 2 119

By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 22:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 441

You deserved it 3 030

House hunting

By ohboy - 06/03/2009 00:51 - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 154

You deserved it 21 500

By aishyaslife89 - 06/10/2015 22:03 - United States - Dayton

Today, I found out that when I was 4 I killed my bunny by drowning it. Apparently, my aunt bribed me to do it because it pooped in her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 969

You deserved it 2 521

Pianissimo

By Anonymous - 20/06/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly, I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 963

You deserved it 4 387

Reminder

By Sigh - 13/09/2009 12:42 - Australia

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 726

You deserved it 3 518

By nraecher - 23/03/2013 04:43 - Canada - Ajax

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 048

You deserved it 8 825

By Eric - 27/02/2012 21:58 - United States

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 24 609

By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 22:38 - United States

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 118

You deserved it 2 998

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Parents Kids Awkward Animals Dogs Relatable Thanksgiving Thief Love Money Birthday Argument Health Family Politics Frustration Intimacy Sex Parenting Allergies Work Miscellaneous AITA First Dates Road rage Cute Alcohol

The Top

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 112

Today, my mom and I went to visit my Dad to wish him happy birthday. I was at a red light, waiting to make a left-hand turn into the only driveway, and once the light turned green, I was unable to go, because another car was coming out. Cars behind me were beeping. I was turning into the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 969

You deserved it 51 791

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 281

You deserved it 44 405

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 044

You deserved it 33 427

Today, I realized my father-in-law is basically Ron Swanson, when at a barbecue he ate some of my daughter's vegan sausages by mistake. When I told him they were vegan, he went to the bathroom, forced himself to throw them up, then sat and demolished 4 burgers, 8 sausages, and 6 chicken thighs, "LIKE A REAL MAN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 247

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 312

You deserved it 21 420

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 567