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The place to be

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, the choir director I’m playing drums for sent an email saying we’d changed venues, but didn’t say where it was, making me hunt for this venue, and making me nearly late to rehearsal. The bass player was here on time. How did she find the venue? The director's Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 144

Average White Sox fan

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to one of my friends that the cap he likes to wear makes people look at us funny in public. He thinks it's just the White Sox logo. It's styled like the baseball team's logo, but it actually says "Sex". I had to show him both side by side for him to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 110

Thanks, Zuck!

By Patrick - 15/03/2024 11:00 - United States - Madison Heights

Today, after nearly 19 years, my Facebook account was permanently disabled because I'd banned too many scammers. I admin 58 groups, for over 2 million members, and have banned 50k+ fake accounts. One of them apparently reported me, and since Facebook runs some fake accounts, it was easier to ban me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 151

Blocked and reported

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 139

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 784

Choose your moments

By Anonymous - 15/05/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend stopped in the middle of sex because she had sudden inspiration about what colour to repaint our bedroom, and wanted to find the colour name online before she forgot it. By the time she was done, I’d gone soft and grumpy, and she got mad I didn’t want to finish having sex anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 158

Lost in the sauce

By Pauly D - 21/05/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I cooked a romantic dinner for my partner to celebrate our five year anniversary. I spent hours preparing a snazzy meal. Just as we sat down to eat, I realized I had forgotten to turn off the oven, and our dessert was now a charred lump of coal. We only realised this when the fire alarm in the kitchen went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 186

Don't come again!

By Brain Bleach? Anyone? - 22/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 151

Naughty boy

By At least they think he's cute - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was in an online meeting when my cat decided to say hello. To do this, he walked in front of my screen, completely obscuring it in his fur. He then logged me out of the meeting by walking across the keyboard. Three times. Every time I tried to pick him up to make him stop, he got upset and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 422

Not the brightest star

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched on camera as my son tried to light a bonfire and set fire to my shed. Props to him, he ran to get my mini fire extinguisher from the car, but he pulled the pin then THREW THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE FIRE. The dumb SOB thought mini extinguishers worked like grenades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 160

Walking red flag

By Anonymous - 04/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my creepy-ass stalker ex-boyfriend has been telling everyone that my two year-old daughter is his. Not only have we been broken up for more than 8 years. I haven’t spoken to him since, and I have no idea why he’s doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 82

Elaborate backstory

By lordoftheweird - 05/06/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I found out both my parents are career criminals. My dad expects me to join the "family business" and my mom has decided that they'll "never get her alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 93

Missed

By Anonyme - 10/06/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I'm anxious traveler who's flying by myself. My first flight got delayed due to one issue after another. This caused me to miss my connection. There are no more flights today so I'm having to stay overnight which, by the way, the airline won't pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 55

Many such cases

By NeedJob pleaseeeee - 21/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 1 062

Mix up

By Anonymous - 26/06/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a VIP visited our building. I was put in charge of his hospitality and was very nervous. At one point, he asked me if he could, “Ahem… wash my hands.” Without thinking, I took him to our kitchen so he could use the sink. Turns out he needed a pee. He looked at me like I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 206

Keep some things to yourself

By Beer - 28/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I picked out a massive two-inch long ingrown hair on my chin. I called my girlfriend in to take a look. She saw it, shrieked, then fainted, cracking her head on the toilet as she fell. Hello, hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 368

Delete pls

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband sent me a dick pic, then sent a follow up text saying, “Sorry, not meant for you, delete pls”, followed by, “Ignore that, obviously it was meant for you. Love you.” If he’s sending pics to other women, I’m gonna spread his cheeks and jam every golf ball he owns up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 132

Occam's razor

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 00:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, it's been a month since I fell into a pile of dog crap whilst walking back from school with my crush. She hasn't texted me since, even though we were inseparable before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 94

Dirty girl

By I like sex dirty but not THAT dirty! - 20/07/2024 11:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband is upset because I’ve been turning him down when he tries to initiate sex as soon as I walk in the door. I work 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse and the thought of getting into bed without showering away all the day's germs repulses me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 157

Sneaking around

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 18:00 - United States - Elkton

Today, and as of late, my girlfriend of 6 months has been getting distant with me, but reassures me that she still loves me. I found out she was hanging out with her ex-girlfriend of two years. They even went out to dinner, and she didn't tell me. I was planning on taking her out tonight too, and I only found out because my friend ran into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 113

Don't do this

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at the gym trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She was on the treadmill, and I thought it would be cute to wave hello. Instead, she looked horrified and sped up, then slipped and fell off the treadmill. She thought I was mocking her, and now everyone at the gym hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 410

Social battery

By Invisible - 18/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I got overwhelmed at a family reunion, so I did an Irish exit. There were only about 15 people there, but it wasn't until at least an hour after I got home that people realized I wasn't there anymore. Shows how much I matter to them, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 469

Satisfaction

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 01:00 - Australia - Balwyn North

Today, I realised that I'm addicted to a porn game… not because of the porn. The simple gameplay mechanic of combining objects on a board to make new objects makes my brain happy. I found myself feeling depressed at the thought that I'd have to wait 3 hours for my moves to recharge before I could play again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 343

Sore loser, even sorer winner

By Silent Fan 2022 - 24/11/2023 22:00

Today, I beat my old college friend at CoD and mocked him vigorously, to which he replied, “Don’t feel bad for me, I have a hot wife, a baby on the way, and a house I paid off by selling my business. How are you?” I… won a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 748

Smells like team spirit

By Anonymous - 02/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss decided to start a sport challenge where we should set a training goal and report about achieving it. Okay, I go to the gym a few days a week, but I'm really not interested in this collective motivation crap. Later, our boss hinted that if I don't take part, I may get fired for breaking the team spirit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 108

Record scratch moment

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her best male friend, a creepy "Nice Guy" type. When she went to the bathroom, he came closer to me and said, "She thinks she likes you, but I'm destined to be with her, I saw it in the stars. Nobody can love her like me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 120

The no-no word

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our three year-old, who we thought was in bed, was actually on the stairs over our shoulders while we watched a black comedian. Guess which new and exciting bad word he keeps saying that is sure to piss black people off. Yep, that word. We can’t go out in public anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 259

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, some guy has been routinely parking in my designated spot outside my block of flats, so I thought I’d teach him a lesson by putting a clamp on his tyre. I later went outside, and not only had he cut the clamp off, he’d left me a note basically saying, "Better luck next time, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 262

Confession

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, my wife confessed that she'd always assumed our kids would have her good looks and my talents. Unfortunately, according to her, our daughters take after my mum and are, "let's face it", in no way gifted. Poor kids and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 139

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 11:00 - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 122

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I have a stutter that gets worse with stress. We got a new supervisor today and the first thing she said to me was, “Either spit it out or write it in an email, for fuck's sake!” I’m now so scared of her, I go almost mute if we’re in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 93

Good morning guys! Today's interview has been done in some extreme circumstances. It was about 36° Celsius, and half of the Completely Serious Comics crew was working while the other one was cooking. Well, it was a bit crazy as you can imagine. So m...

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 17

The Top

Today, I confronted my coworker, who I had a crush on, for lying to me. He’d told me he was gay when I asked him out. He’s now dating another coworker of mine who’s a woman. He took this up with my boss, and I was written up for “creating a hostile work environment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 985

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 13 446

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I said no that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 18 843

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 748

You deserved it 9 467

Today, I was romantically cuddling with my boyfriend. He looked deep into my eyes, stared lovingly at me, and said, "I never noticed, but you have the most adorable freckles on your face..." Blushing, I tilted my head to the side. He then said, "Oh, never mind, those are just your blackheads." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 778

You deserved it 7 142

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 793

You deserved it 2 464