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Small world

By Frankie says relax - 06/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at the grocery store when I bumped into my ex. Trying to be polite, I asked how she was doing, only for her to reply, "Great, thanks! I'm actually getting married next month." Meanwhile, I was standing there in a Garfield t-shirt clutching a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of cheap wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 215

New addiction just dropped

By Never going outside again - 14/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out about allergies suddenly getting worse out of nowhere when it happened to mine. I can hardly step outside without feeling like hell when I get back home, which was never the case before, and I'm going through allergy medicine like a drug addict (almost). FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 54

No excuse

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I posted a selfie on Instagram showing off my new haircut. However, I hadn't noticed that I'd forgot to switch back from my company's official Instagram account to my private account. The caption? "Feeling cute, might delete later." It stayed up for over an hour, and my future as a social media manager is up for debate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 687

Pull the wool

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, my girlfriend is fucking somebody else and she thinks I don't know. I'm too afraid to lose her, so I haven't told her that I know. I'm not sure why I'm not ready to let her go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 641

Arbitrary snooze button

By Thanks, Mom - 01/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I had three days off work. My mom woke me up for work on all three of those days, despite my repeatedly asking her not to. When I actually had to go to work this morning, she didn't wake me up. At least I wasn't late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 143

Busted!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 159

Work harder

By hank - 06/07/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every time I go out with my friend, we get approached by girls. He’s taken, so he’s offered to be my wingman. Every time the girls find out he’s taken and I'm the single one, they tell us how they were only interested in him. I’m working my ass off trying to improve myself, and these are my results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 134

Control group

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss wanted us to fill out anonymous employee satisfaction surveys. The entire workforce, all 4 of us, just looked at him. How can a sample of only 4 surveys possibly be kept anonymous? He’d know who it was straight away from our handwriting. Man he must think we’re dumb… FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 87

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 428

Honey, time to move

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 11:00

Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. My husband and I live in a cottage on her land, and her actual words were, “Well you better abort it, because you’re not having any baby in my cottage. The piss, shit, and sick will ruin the resale value.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 180

Nature, nurture…?

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it seems that despite being twins, my brother and I are very different people. Last week I got written up at work for taking too long a lunch break. This afternoon he got written up for having sex at work, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 104

No fun

By Ed. - 04/08/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Stoke Newington

Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 89

Overconfident

By Tracey - 09/08/2024 09:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, my 10-year-old niece asked me how to spell "embarrassing." I confidently spelled it out. She giggled and said, "No, that's wrong." She was right, and to make matters a tad ironic, I'd just finished bragging about winning a spelling bee back in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 451

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 00:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my pug farted so much that I thought there was an actual gas leak. I kept checking the oven and making sure our C02 detector had batteries before I heard a squeaky fart come from my dog. Don't get a pug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 328

Unintentional insult

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 09:00 - Slovenia

Today, I work at an IT company where we hand out laptops to our users, which we also equip with passwords. I used bird names from my language for the passwords. Turns out one of the passwords was a derogatory word for a woman who is very sexually active, because it's spelled the same as a type of bird here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 121

Mismanaged

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my manager issued our next month's schedule, where I’m only working 12 hours a week, which is bollocks. He tried to claim he did it so I could spend more time with my baby. What baby? I have no baby. The prick can’t even remember who I am. Give me hours and pay me money, you wanker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 96

Factor variability

By Ella - 11/09/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush, who lives in Texas, got into a relationship. He turned me down when I'd confessed my feelings for him because he “doesn’t do long distance.” The girl he’s with lives in the same city as me. We both live in Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 136

Not a people person

By Just me - 13/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 167

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 01/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 101

Procrastinating my life away

By Beatrix - 11/11/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to be productive and got dressed in real clothes instead of sweatpants. I spent the next four hours on the couch binge-watching Netflix and pretending I had plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 365

Hang in there, brother

By Asiral - 23/11/2023 21:00 - Romania - Suceava

Today, I can't stand my body anymore. I can't do anything about it because I could be kicked out and I'm stuck with long hair and a body that feels like the wrong kind of fat. My mother threatened to kick me out if I cut my hair, even if it's my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 177

Alexa, play "Jobseeker" by Sleaford Mods

By Probably Not - 09/12/2023 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, after 6 years of marriage, my wife called me toxic and abusive. All because I asked her if she's going to find a job, as it's getting harder for me to take care of everything, and we need more money at the moment. She's been unemployed for almost two years already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 125

Christmas family fun

By KittyT - 25/12/2023 21:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, on Christmas Eve, I got dumped. Why? Because he couldn't live with my psychotic sister after she threatened to get him arrested if she punched him, because he's black. We still love each other and we're in tears having to separate until we can get a house in the housing crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 199

Monster madness

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and his girlfriend cancelled their wedding and eloped because they were sick of my ex-wife being a Monster-in-law. The last straw was when she called the dress shop and tried to cancel the wedding dress because it “made her look like a slut.” Now I missed seeing my son get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 158

Hard times

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Delmar

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 161

Welcome to the world

By 2nd place - 06/01/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, I realized my wife named our newborn son after her ex-boyfriend. This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't the abusive, cheating, womanizer ex that she originally described when we first met. To make things better, he was the one that eventually cut her off, not the other way around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 112

Mockery

By Jamie Kingslayer - 15/01/2024 05:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I walked into my barbershop and told the owner to, “Give me the Jamie Lannister” (from Game of Thrones). The barbershop was silent, except for one loud laugh. Coming from my ex. She'd followed me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 583

Explain this

By Jenny - 16/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 89

No kinkshaming

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife told me she doesn’t understand why I’m uncomfortable with her being the moderator of “Sex Talk” forum, the top pinned message board of which is “Adultery Cuckolding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 178

Hit the road Jack

By Denise - 03/03/2024 03:00 - United States - Palm Beach

Today, my soon-to-be-ex husband threw an epic tantrum, with crying, snotty nose, throwing himself on the floor, grabbing me by my feet, begging me not to leave him, and that he’s “so sorry” after I confronted him about the sexts and nudes he’s been sending to another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 104

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 777

You deserved it 2 989

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 987

You deserved it 8 573

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 4 989

Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 2 737

Today, I got in a huge fight with my pregnant wife because I cannot consent to naming our future daughter Paprika. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 613

You deserved it 1 362

Today, I found out my ex lets our kids watch Game of Thrones during his weekend visits. Our kids are 8 and 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 197