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Slipping up

By Anonymous - 06/04/2024 05:00 - United States - Richardson

Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 145

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, any regular person might go to work, exercise, shower, shop for groceries, cook some food and spend time with friends. I barely manage to do ONE of those things on any given day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 193

Stuck

By Anonymous - 16/04/2024 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I'm once again stuck on the side of the road. I was borrowing my housemate's old car and it broke down. This comes only days after my own broke down (and will take 3 weeks to repair). None of this is helping my sudden temper and mood swings that have come as a side-effect of discontinuing my anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 156

Leaked

By Nick - 18/04/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out that my toilet leaked into the apartment's ceiling downstairs and it's going to cost over $2000 to fix the ceiling and the clear all of the mould out. I have two different types of insurance and neither of them are likely to cover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 80

Celebrate!

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 12:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My brother's girlfriend gave me a few snide comments about the choice of music and my dress. Then she teased me about not having a boyfriend. By the way, I haven't had a relationship in five years because I'm still traumatized from past domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 87

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I noticed mold on my toothbrush. I have no idea how long it's been like that. I told my husband about it via text, and all he could say was, "Welp... ew." We've had a mold problem for years and I'm constantly sick. I also mentioned this and he sent me a shrugging emoji. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 147

Little devil

By Girlie - 07/05/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 167

High times

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 601

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 175

Bad parenting

By Anonymous - 19/06/2024 21:00

Today, we got back from our second honeymoon and went to pick the kids up from my mom's. Surprisingly, they were both sat quietly watching TV. Half jokingly, I asked my mom what her secret was. Without even a guilty pause she told me, "Benadryl for chesty coughs in their juice. You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 108

Romcom trope

By Anonymous - 27/06/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a waiter fucked up by bringing a dessert with engagement ring to our table. My girlfriend started crying and saying, "Yes Yes Yes!" The look on her face when she had to take the ring off and give it back to the other woman… She’s now giving me the silent treatment, even though I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 104

I'm listening

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 08:00

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 76

Socially awkward

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 372

No sleep til colon!

By Anonymous - 23/07/2024 08:00 - United States - Duluth

Today, after I lost my job because my position was eliminated last Friday, I'm in such a state of fear about losing my home, and having to re-home my animals (who are my children) that I haven't been able to sleep most of the week. My only hope for rest comes Monday, when I have my first colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 138

My life story

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 16:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, if I was watching my life as a movie, I'd be thinking: "Come on, it is SO obvious that this will be a story about some gods having a bet about how fast they can get this woman to kill herself, and whether big things like health problems work best, or rather constant small annoyances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 130

My kingdom for some peace and quiet!

By Yudith - 08/08/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I can at last cool off the house by opening my windows after one week of heatwave. Unfortunately, some asshat working for the city decided to repair the street, or rather bang bang bang on the pavement, right in front of them. From 10 pm to 6 am. Every night. For a week. They won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 98

Make it stop

By Jill03 - 22/08/2024 20:00 - South Africa

Today, like I've had for what seems like the past year, I have the Skibidi Toilet song playing in my brain. If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. My boyfriend isn't helping because he keeps singing the "YES YES" part. I can't escape my intrusive thoughts. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 130

Mix up

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from an unknown number that said, "Are you free tonight?" Thinking it was a friend messing around, I responded with, "Only if you're buying booze and dinner." The reply a few minutes later was, "This is Dr. Peters, your dentist. You missed your appointment today. You need to reschedule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 451

Seek help

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since his parents died in a crash, my husband is so petrified of his own eventual death that he's determined not to waste any time, even on sleep, and now only allows himself one REM cycle of sleep per night, around 90 minutes. He’s falling apart and refuses to see a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 76

Neglected

By Busy mom - 06/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 422

Nearly there

By Pete - 09/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was on a video call with my grandmother, trying to teach her how to use Facebook. I patiently explained the difference between posting a status and sending a private message. Five minutes later, I saw her new status: “I love you, honey. Thanks for being so patient with me. By the way, I still don’t understand this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 103

RIP

By Ehmed Ousmane - 25/09/2024 15:00 - Pakistan

Today, my therapist died from a heart attack, all while telling me not to stress over anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 79

Stranded and lonely

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Boise

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 110

Morale booster

By Keith from Mars - 05/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was trying to give a motivational speech to my team at work, because morale has been low. Halfway through, I blanked and ended up just saying gibberish and stuff like, "We’ll just fake it until we… you know… whatever happens. You know?" Not exactly inspiring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 426

Fall vibes

By Frozen - 19/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I slept on the couch last night. Not because of an angry significant other, but because my bedroom was absolutely freezing, thanks to the wind. It was like a giant freezer. Even fully cocooning myself in blankets with a sweater on didn't work. I should get a space heater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 102

Toot etiquette

By Mama - 22/10/2024 20:00 - Switzerland - Basel

Today, I recently taught my 6 year-old son that, to be polite, you have to pretend you haven't noticed if someone farts. Now it embarrassingly just happened to me, and he shouted with a big smile, "See? I'm pretending I didn't hear it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 339

No time to mess around

By ArkansasConspiracy - 26/10/2024 02:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I learned that I'm not registered to vote. Apparently filling out the form and signing it in the county clerk's office was no guarantee and I was supposed to follow up until I received mail confirmation. It's now too late to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 108

Hey big spender!

By Haley - 27/10/2024 21:00 - United States - Great Bend

Today, I opened some junk mail addressed to my fiancé and saw a credit letter about applying for a new mortgage. When I called to tell him his identity was stolen, he admitted he bought a house, and then broke up with me. I had no clue he was unhappy. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 124

Hung up

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 66

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I took a deep breath and started journaling to "figure out my life." Two hours later, I had written four pages of ranting about my upstairs neighbor's loud footsteps and zero pages about my life goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 298

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Hi gang! Welcome to this week’s illustrated FML! As you will find out, this week we’re all about the lovin’. Summer is just around the corner and layers of clothes are being shed. Admit it, when you’ll come across a cute girl/hot guy in th...

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 2

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

The Top

Today, during an argument between me and my boyfriend, he called for his mom. She came up and told us both off and told us to stop screaming, as if we were kids. We are both well over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 1 206

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 526

You deserved it 13 246

Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 101

You deserved it 5 688

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 3 453

Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 189

Today, my stepmom burned all my Harry Potter stuff. Apparently, Harry Potter is the "Devil’s plan to corrupt good Christian children" and "That shit is make believe anyway." What did my dad ever see in this evil witch? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 316

You deserved it 137