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Let me be

By I can't move out because of this economy - 04/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, as usual, my parents hate to see me relax. Every time I'm not working, doing a sport, or doing chores, I must be working on some form of education to keep them at bay. Today, I had the day off and caught up on schoolwork. My parents woke me up at 6 AM by running the vacuum outside my door. "Go mow the lawn, you slob." FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 59

You should be dancing, yeah?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 416

Creeped out the full

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, after my wife’s father made a very weird joke the other day, and it completely bothered me and caused my anxiety to skyrocket, I asked her about it. She told me not to worry and that it’s just a joke. I’ve always suspected he views his daughter, my wife, sexually. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 115

Riiiiiiiight

By Liar liar plants for hire - 23/07/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to see his ex, who is still friends with him, at her house to comfort her because her mom died. I found out after doing some Facebook stalking that her mom is very much alive. I called him on the phone to call him out on his lie. He responded that he meant her “stepmother” not biological mother. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 124

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 165

It's a deal

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 75

Leonardo syndrome

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Savannah

Today, my boyfriend, who is 10 years older than me, told me that he never wanted to get married and that he felt bad for wasting all of my time, and he just "doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship." After 12 years. I just found out he's dating a younger girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 93

What happened?

By Someonethrowmeabone - 24/08/2024 08:00 - United States - New York

Today, I'd finally found a decent job after months of unemployment, I'd even got my kids into after-school care for my job. They'd told me they could handle my autistic son. I got them back at the end of the day today and they said not to bring them back. What the hell do I do now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 97

Karma

By Sorry mum - 30/08/2024 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of a conversation with my best friend, where we were making fun of my mum’s new haircut, to my mum. She responded with, “Well, at least my haircut can change. What are you going to do about your face?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 814

I'm outta here

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I received an email from my boss announcing a new company policy that everyone already hates. Meaning to vent, I typed a snarky reply meant for my friend, saying, "Guess we’re all fucking robots now, huh?" I'd hit "Reply All" instead. Now the entire office, including my boss, knows exactly what I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 666

Oddly specific cold open

By lalalalala - 23/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from a telemarketer who asked, "Is this the crazy cat lady?" I only own one cat, but apparently, that’s all it takes to earn a reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 101

That's not my name

By Not Jennifer - 30/09/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, while I was using the bathroom at work, I heard someone come into the stall next to mine and start talking. Thinking they were on the phone, I stayed quiet… but then they said, “I know it’s you, Jennifer.” My name isn't Jennifer. I had to sit there in silence until they left, pretending to be someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 191

Who's the moron now?

By Rob - 03/10/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, before I could realise what I was doing, I replied-all to an email chain about a huge company issue, saying, "FFS, this is ridiculous and moronic, and so is upper management." I’m still employed, but everyone now avoids me like I’m radioactive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 591

Drill baby drill

By anon - 09/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 153

It's all connected

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 06:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I’ve been sick for 3 weeks and by now I can hardly even distinguish whether I feel weak and shitty due to A) still being sick, B) lack of exercise (caused by A), or C) severe depression (caused by B). FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 84

Hard pressed

By Cliffton - 06/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I tried to bench press, my arms gave out instantly, and I ended up dropping the bar onto my chest. The dudes in the gym around me gave me the wide-eyed WTF face, while I tried to laugh it off and failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 367

Sometimes negativity is good

By Not again!!! - 11/11/2024 03:00 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 92

Blush

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new pair of white pants, feeling fancy. Halfway through the day, I discovered a ketchup stain that looked suspiciously like a heart right on the front. That explained why people kept giving me sympathetic nods as I walked by, probably thinking I'd spilled my heart on my sleeve… or my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 102

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 19:00 - Australia - Emerald

Today, I had finally convinced myself to attend my first BDSM party by telling myself, "No one there knows you, and if they do, they're interested in the same thing." Once there, I immediately noticed the giant hole in my train of thought: One of the bar staff was a fellow uni student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 164

Proud Papa moment

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 55

Cool new look

By Anonymous - 10/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 139

I'm not the main character in this scene

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 00:00 - Norway

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 113

Denial spectrum

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and since my son was diagnosed autistic, my sister refuses to have anything to do with him, because she doesn’t want her kids around him. The only reason her two kids aren’t diagnosed with autism and ADHD is because she refuses to let doctors assess them. Her kids are worse than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 143

What's YOUR resolution?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made the New Year’s resolution that he’d try to get on better with my boyfriend. We’re less than 24 hours into the 1st of January and he’s already chased him around the garden trying to brain him with a meat tenderiser. Business as usual then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 156

Missed the boat

By dyl - 09/01/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, things I was bullied for such as having online friends, playing Roblox, Steam, and other video games, are now seen as cool. I wished I could have a social life as a teenager and turned to online gaming because nobody wanted to invite me out with them. Apparently, teens socialize over that now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 142

Can't be arsed

By Roy - 23/03/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Voorburg

Today, l remembered the second time my then-future-wife and I had sex; she soundly feel asleep during the act. According to her, this was because she felt so comfortable with me. Well my friends, she has increasingly got more comfortable with me in the past 20 years. Very, very comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 139

What's the word for that sort of thing?

By NotThisAgain - 11/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Wallsend

Today, it's been 8 years since I relearned to walk with the help of great doctors, hospital staff, physios, and my common mobility aid. It's also the third day in a row that random men have approached me in public to try and school me on how I'm using my aid "wrong" and how they know better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 83

The whole tooth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 18:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 82

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 86

On eggshells

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to hug my husband and give him a kiss. He flinched away and asked what I was doing, because I apparently never hug him, so he thought I might be about to prank him or something. Now I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 621

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

The Top

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 559

You deserved it 5 580

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 573

You deserved it 17 987

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because there was “something missing”, which was the lack of sex we had because she didn’t feel good about her body. Less than three hours after crushing my heart, she posted about how hard it will be to have a "hoe phase" during a pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 177

Today, I got a pay bonus and spend it on paying for 12 months of car registration up-front for the first time in my life, filled the tank, and got it professionally washed. After all that, I accidentally reversed into my own house, causing major damage. I have to borrow the money for the insurance excess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 629

Today, I was ordered by our higher boss to buy 15 boxes of pizza for our even higher boss's birthday party. As I called his favorite pizza place to order, I was told to "FUCK OFF!!!" and was blatantly hung-up upon. When I tried to call again, the company number is now barred. Of all the days, it had to be April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 112

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 074

You deserved it 2 433